Fri, 06 Oct 2006 17:32:49 -0400
Okay folks, I need some common sense advice. Leah met this
boy at school last week, and he seemed oddly attentive from
the the second they met. Leah reported him as being
"dejected" if she was not with him. Then he walked her home
(which is pretty far, and he had previously said he didn't
like to walk). Then he showed up here twice yesterday,
apparently having told a friend of hers that he was going to
stalk her. I don't know what his definition of "stalk" is,
although he is already annoying her. My first instinct was to
hand Leah the pages re stalking from the student handbook, so
she could give them to him if she wanted to do so, but that
only covers stalking on school property. I don't want to
overreact if this is the extent of it, and he's just gonna
take the hint and fade away; OTOH, I don't want to let things
get out of control if he persists--and it's not clear to me
that Leah will be able to handle this herself....
If he continues to follow her around, esp off school property, get his
name and addy and do let the the cops know. Let his folks know, too. Be
nice to the kid but be firm... he may just be infatuted and he'll get
over it. If he doesn't, you'll know soon enough.
Thanks, JD. Very odd how this went from 0 to over 100 in a
few days. To my knowledge, he had never even seen Leah
before.... Maybe Leah's friend knows whether this is true.
Her description of things makes me uneasy.... And Leah is NOT
adept with people...............
hormones do odd things to the young.
Personally, I would not take any chances, Jean.
If he refuses to be warned off, I'd call the Police and let them
How old are both of them? You might want to talk with the principal or
their teachers to see if they notice anything. It sounds like the young
man has a major problem. Having been in law enforcement that situation
makes me curious. I am not suggesting that he is dangerous but I would
certainly attempt to get a bit more information about him. Tell Leah to
be very careful but try not to frighten her.
Yes, I need to talk with Leah some more about this. She just
turned 16. I gather he is in the same grade so he is probably
15 or 16. I agree that this just isn't normal--and I am
assuming this is not just my lack of memory about how things
are at this age. You don't just meet someone and then
immediately act dejected if that person isn't sitting with
you. I sure wish he did not walk her home and thus find out
where we live.
I appreciate your thoughts, Arch, especially given your
background. My antennae are up.............
Don't panic, but don't take this lightly. I think you should report
what Leah's friend heard him say to her about stalking to the school
principal and ask her/his advice as to what you should do.
I have until Monday--er, Tuesday, to cogitate. I don't want
to get this kid into trouble if this is just some innocent,
short-lived phenomenon. But I also don't want to just let
Oh I do understand a gentle person like you Jean worrying about
getting a kid into trouble, but your first priority is protecting
Leah. His threatening to stalk her to a friend could just be a boy
who is talking "big" to someone and he doesn't mean it, but if he is
annoying her you have to get him to stop if Leah can't. Do you know
if she has told him? If she did, maybe he will back off.
Boys at that age can be very clumsy at "courting" a girl and maybe
that's all it is. OTOH ......
Given recent headlines, I would go directly to the police and let them
handle it. School principals don't have much authority these days.
Talking to his parents won't do any good if the boy's homelife is as
unstable as he seems to be. Meanwhile, can you drive Leah home froom
I generally do when she isn't with her friends. I guess she
will be calling me when she gets to her friend's house, so I
can come get her.
One problem is I have NO feel for this boy. If he had been in
my daughter's middle school or elementary school, that prolly
would not be the case, partly because I volunteered in the
school library and ran into most of the kids many times.
Leah, totally inexperienced with boys, thinks she knows
Tonight, I will see the boy who told Leah of the stalking and
will try to get his take on things.
Maybe I'll talk to the policeman at the school on Monday.
Yeah......... No, I think she has just tried to avoid him
after he became too attentive so quickly. I will tell her she
needs to tell him to stop bothering her.
It is a bit of a tightrope (to me, anyway). I don't want to
jump the gun if this is just an innocent little thing, and
he's gonna get the picture and back off, but I also don't want
to take chances.
BTW, I just sent a pic of Leah to David, so you both can see
her. If he doesn't crash, I'll send at least one more. :-)