Laws of Cat Physics....

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
you he can.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often
the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Stan...

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to
the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest
him or her.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't
Matter.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a cat is
present.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire
for her to do something.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
come along and take out something good to eat.

Stan...

Mikal, this really happened.

A few years ago we were living in the swamps of Florida. We lived in a
log cabin that I built. Half of the house had a high cathedral ceiling and
the other half was a second story open loft.

I had just woke up, and I was sitting in an easy chair, naked, near the
stairs to the loft, holding a hot cup of coffee.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and our pit bull was snoozing on the
floor in front of me.

Sue had gone outside and left the front door open. Our cat followed her
outside.

Unbeknownst to me, the cat spotted a wild rabbit on the porch and chased
it in the house.

The rabbit ran past me followed by the cat followed by the pit bull who
had just woke up in time to see the chase.

In order: rabbit, cat, and pit bull ran up the stairs to the open loft
and jumped off.... at my side of the first floor.

The first thing that hit my exposed self was the hot coffee, followed by
a traumatized rabbit, and a free-falling cat with open claws!.

The pit bull ran back down the stairs and chased them out the open door.

Enter Butterkup, "You really should put some clothes on, Stan. We might
have visitors. Why are you bent over? Your eyebrows are all scrunched up."

Chakolate...

LOL!

Now the question is whether you learned from your experience and
thereafter put clothes on. If you did, you are human. If you didn't,
you're probably a cat.

stan :)

Norma...

I guess it wasn't funny to you, at the time. But I am doubled up with
laughter here. Guffaw!
Norma

david...

the good news, stan, is that local church choirs are always looking for
more tenors... :) and an occasional male soprano... :))

Joy...

Sorry, Stan, but this made me LOL. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time.
Not to you, anyway.

BK was right, you know. You did have visitors, and you'd have been better
of if you had clothes on. ;-)

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within
the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in
direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.