tv. good or bad for kids rooms

my daughter who is 12 yrs old says can i have at.v. in my room
please? and i say no its bad for you and i know you you'll stay up all

Jeff...

No:

1) The room is for sleeping and quiet time. Not for watching TV.

2) The room is her space. You want to see what she is watching on TV, limit
access to TV to a couple of hours a day (or less) and be able to remove her
use of TV as a punishment.

night watching it then you will be tired when you go to school. i tell
her this over and over again but she says what im telling her isnt a
good enough reason so i need your feed back on wether she should have a
t.v. in her room and some good reasons why or why not.

Jeff...

Who is the adult? It is your house. You set the rules.

dragonlady...

It is my opinion that TV's in kids' rooms discourages family unity, and
encourages a sort of isolationism.

I just never allowed it, and, for the most part, the kids didn't argue
with me.

I DID buy a small TVCR at one point, so the kids could take that into
their rooms to watch movies with friends -- but it wasn't left in their
bedrooms.

Ericka Kammerer...

Ummm, because you said so and you're her parent?
If it is your policy not to have tvs in the bedrooms, then
she doesn't get one. Period. She's just engaging in a
power struggle with you. You know and she knows that
in general the advice is not to have tvs in the bedroom--
even for adults. She's just trying to wear you down.
State your case once, and that's it. If she wants to
make an argument that tv in the bedroom is beneficial for
her, then she can do the research and make an evidence-
based case for it. Even if she makes that case, tv in
her bedroom is a privilege, not a right.

cjra...

What Ericka said. That you're trying to come up with reasons to
convince her rather than the other way around is a clear sign of who is
the dominant one. No TV. End of story, there doesn't need to be a
reason.

(That said, we don't even have one in our room, I wouldn't consider
buying one to put in a kid's room.)

If for some reason you decide it's acceptable, I'd suggest she save her
money and buy one herself. And I like the idea of her doing the
research. A colleague asked his son to do just that when he wanted to

Irrational Number...

I disagree with the research idea unless
you will allow yourself to be convinced
if she comes up with something good. If
she says that she has to watch the Lehrer
news hour every night for background for
her speech and debate team and this way
she can concentrate and get better grades
and win at competitions, what are you going
to say? If you have decided on "no",
then just say it and it's over.

My mother used to ask me for my reasons
for whatever it was I wanted and then
one by one, shoot down every single
reason, if if it was good. I hated hated
hated that!

get one of those dance mat thingies....he told his son to write a
proposal/grant request justifying it, including the background, health
issues, costs, usage, etc... which he did.

Best wishes,
Ericka

toypup...

It's your house and your rules. You don't need to give her reasons. She
needs to convince you, not the other way around. When she moves into her
own house, she can make the rules, and she can then put the tv in her own
room.

dejablues...

We got rid of the tvs in the kids rooms when we switched to satellite tv
service a couple of years ago, because we're not going to pay for the extra
receivers . Now we've got one big one in the living room, a small one in the
kitchen (that's split from the same receiver as the LR one, so it gets the
same channel) and one in our bedroom. The two younger kids still have a tv,
for gamecube, and it does get broadcast tv (poorly).

As a result, they watch a *lot* less tv, are more choosy about what they do
watch (the three of them have to agree), and they're holed up in their rooms
a lot less and they're out interacting with the family. They're 16, almost
13, and 8.

toto...

Do you have a tv in your bedroom? If so, then I don't think you have
any reason not to allow her to have one.

toypup...

So sorry, I agree with the other posters. Just because I do something
doesn't mean my kids can, too. They can do it when they're as old as I am.
Otherwise, you're condoning s*x, driving, staying up past midnight, etc.

toto...

Again, not quite the same. I would agree about things that involve
safety, but tv doesn't involve that.

toypup...

Okay, but staying up past midnight doesn't involve safety. Should young
kids get to stay up to all hours of the night? Watching movies with mature

Caledonia...

Not sure I know, really. I did put a bedside lamp in DD1's (6 y.o.)
room, as she was staying up late to read Harry Potter by the light from
a nightlight. I can remember doing the same (well, not the Harry Potter
part...).

Now, when she wakes up at 4 or 5, she can just turn on her light.
(She's always been a frighteningly early riser)....

subject matter doesn't involve safety. Should young kids be allowed to do

dejablues...

My 12-yr-old would definitely stay up til 12 or 1 am if he had a tv in his
room. He sometimes does lay awake in the dark- he just can't sleep! That age
is when kids start to become night owls - stay up late and sleep in late.
This is just what happens to teenagers. Couple that with school starting a

Aula...

While I know of many houses where either the insulation is good enough to
dampen the sound or the layout would do the same, ours would not. But,
headphones for tv's are very inexpensive and would allow a person to watch
tv at any time without bothering others. We have a set, and our tv is in
the living room, just so others may do what they like while one person uses
the tv.

Personally, I'm with what appears to be the majority here. TV does not
belong in the bedroom for many reasons already cited in various posts.
Computers also need to be in public locations, for many of the same reasons.
And families need to make certain that they keep family activities/time
regularly as well as develop individual pursuits alone and with others.

Rosalie B....

We do have a very old house (pre Civil War), and a lot of rooms in it.
Built very well. When dd#2 wanted to start playing the clarinet (with
attendant screeching) dh said she could NOT get up at 5 am and
practice. She did it anyway, but went to the downstairs bathroom and
shut the door and we didn't hear it. Also my son used to practice
with his rock band in the living room under our bedroom - except for
the low frequency vibration it wasn't very noisy. I monitored the
noise IN the room and it was well over 90 dB.

In our RI house which was a new raised ranch, the older kids had
bedrooms downstairs and we had an intercom as otherwise we wouldn't
have heard them. DS once got out of his crib (he was about 2.5) and
went through the dining room and out onto the deck and out of the
yard, and dh who was watching TV in the family room (under the dining
room) did not hear anything.

My dd#2's house in Miami has the master bedroom across the dining
room, kitchen and family room and down the hall from the children's
rooms. She does have TV sets (not hooked to the sat dish or antenna
but for videos) in their rooms, and you can't hear them outside the
room. When the children were babies, she used a baby monitor.

In dd#3's new house in TX middle child sleeps downstairs and everyone
else is upstairs. This is a very large house. When the baby is
asleep upstairs, they have a baby monitor as otherwise when she cried
they couldn't hear her when they were downstairs.

DS has the master bedroom on the other end of the house from the
children's bedrooms - prefab house which is new.

Banty...

If a TV were a low, but still listenable, volume in another room with a closed
door, I wouldnt' have any problem sleeping with it on.

Rosalie B....

I can sleep through noise. I just can't sleep through worry.

grandma Rosalie

Nan...

Our house has paper-thin walls, but when my 22 yo ds lived here, he'd
watch tv in his room late at night/early in the morning. It never
bothered us. I sleep with a fan for the white noise, but I could
never hear his tv when I was in the living room, which is right next
to his bedroom.

toypup...

Large house, separate wings and good insulation.

lot earlier, and kids this age don't need any incentive to stay up later.

Irene...

Heh. I'm more likely to stay up reading than watching tv (now or at
any age). For me, the staying up late argument wouldn't apply!

However, I've already forbidden tv's in bedrooms as a blanket policy -
it just makes it too easy to watch more tv. Dh loves having it on as
background, and I insisted that the bedroom be a tv-free zone, because
a) I can't sleep with the tv on and b) I just think it is unnecessary.

And yes, the supervision aspect is another one. Esp. on weekends when
DirecTV has a free Cinemax weekend. ;-)

that?

LAdezio...

Not necessarily.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I have one in my room because

enigma...

no, actually, you need to make *her* provide several good
reasons why she *should* be allowed a tv in her room.
personally, i don't think kids should have thier own tvs,
unless it's only used for games or whatever. certainly not
hooked up to cable or satellite... if they want to watch tv,
it should be in a public area of the house, so parents can
keep an eye on content...
lee

there are times when I'm on bedrest due to a chronic illness. There
may be reasons the parent(s) has a tv in the bedroom. Has nothing to
do with what the children get to have.

Second, sometimes there are perks to being an adult -- bringing in the
money and owning the home, etc. -- that children don't get.

I own my own car. Doesn't mean my kids get to have their own
cars....same for having an alcoholic beverage, staying out
late.....When they're grown, on their own and making their own living,
they can have/do what they want. Until then, those decisions are mine
to make and I get to set the rules.

Rosalie B....

My kids never had a TV in their bedroom, but in those days we only HAD
one TV. We've had a TV in our bedroom for quite a long time. We
have a timer on it (or in the case of the one we have now it is built
in) so that it turns on and off at specified times.

Some of my grandchildren have a TV in their bedroom - but mostly for
games and watching video tapes, not for watching TV. Those of my
children that can afford it have a TV in their bedrooms. I would have
welcomed a TV in the bedroom in the days when I was bf.

I have no opinion on whether you should let her have a TV in her
bedroom or not. But whatever your opinion is about it, you don't have
to give reasons.

grandma Rosalie

Nan...

Okay, why do you think a tv in a kid's room is bad? I understand not
wanting younger kids to have one (although mine does), but she's a
pre-teen who likely spends a good amount of time in her room.

If your fear that she'll stay up too late is the reason, how about a
trial run? Give her a chance to show she can be responsible enough
with it, and to make sure she gets the sleep she needs. If she
doesn't follow through, then remove it.