getting on with siblings

My son has a really hard time supporting his siblings he is constantly
irritated by them and is verbally aggressive to them he used to have
tantrums when younger but he's better with that now and totally
controles that side of his anger.
He is also very sensetive and rigourous with his timetable and
schoolwork.
How should i approach this problem affecting the whole family
structure.
Genie (mum of four)

Penny Gaines...

How old is your son, and is he older or younger then his siblings?

num1brat101...

Maybe talk to him and be a little understanding. Make a way to make it
fun for him and the family. Maybe have a family fun night where you
learn and have fun. That's what I do with my four. And it really has
improved my childrens grades.

dkhedmo...

My 6yo son sounds similar in some ways to your son. He is easily
irritated by his younger brother's behavior and yells at him (and yet he
is at least equally irritating). He also tends to be very sensitive to
some things. Until very recently, he also had huge meltdown tantrums on
a regular basis, and behavior that often derailed the whole family dynamic.

He's in the first grade this year, and is growing out of a lot of this
behavior finally. I think the full school day with its predictable
schedule and structure have really helped a lot. When he is home and is
not getting along well with his brother, one thing I try to do that
often helps is to give him a task where he is responsible for helping
his brother or teaching his brother something. Simple things like
helping his brother wash his hands, or learn to play a computer game, etc.

Chookie...

DS1 didn't have tantrums (though it looks like DS2 will!) but is generally
very kind and patient with his little brother unless it's a matter of a
carefully-arranged game (indoor bowls; a Thomas layout) which DS2 will just
bulldoze through. The only solution to this is to close the door to keep DS2
out. I don't allow it all the time, but IMHO DS1 is quite justified in
wanting to play by himself at times.

I have found the same thing as you -- asking DS1 to help DS2 do something
works well, as does a routine.

dkhedmo...

Sorry, got interrupted before I finished my thought... The asking him to
help his sibling very often changes his attitude to one of sweetness and
kindness and they immediately get along better. His tone of voice and
body language soften. He gets a funny little "teacher" kind of voice
going, it's very sweet.