I don't know how to train my son to get rid of the pacifier.

My son is near thirteen month old now. He can fall sleep by his own
with a pacifier and a night-light. Now a friend told me if a baby
sleep under a light, his vision would be spoiled. But if I turn off
the light and take away the pacifier, he wakes up more times than
normal and becomes very fussy. I think I must train him to change his
habits, but I can't bear his cry over an hour at midnight. I don't
know how to do the training.

xkatx...

First, the light.
If he likes the light, then fine. If it offers him comfort, then so be it.
DS, 5 and a half, likes his night light in his room. His vision is fine.
Those who say night lights will cause concern of bad vision are giving
inaccurate advice, as it won't harm vision at all.

Second, the pacifier.
Let him keep it if, again, it gives him comfort. DS was definitely over a
year and a half - I'd say even closer to 20-22 months - and he still had
that silly "suckie" of his, and he had it day and night. It was also around
that time that I realized how silly he looked with the pacifier in his
mouth, and I cut his useage of it down to night time only, as a means of
comfort for him. Around 2ish years old, I finally had enough of that thing,
and I told him we should give it to a baby who needs it. No go. I tried
everything and anything to get him to let go of it at night, and finally,
what worked for us, was having HIM throw it away in the toilet. At that
age, he knew the toilet was dirty, so I told him he should put it in the
toilet and he did. Then it became "dirty" and he seemed to let it go.
Didn't flush the toilet, just threw it in there and he then said, "Uh oh!
Dirty suckie!" and I reached in to the water (yes, it was clean water, but
still a toilet) and asked him if he wanted it and he looked at me as if I
had pulled something else out of the toilet and asked him if he wanted it
and he said, "No, dirty now!" and from that day on, he didn't want or need
it.
I don't know if this would work for every child, but I did get this idea
from a friend, who, around that same age had a pacifier and he said his
grandmother threw it in the toilet and he didn't want it anymore - his
parents love to confirm this is how it happened as well!

So, all in all, the pacifier at his age, as well as the night light, are
fine. He's still a baby. Let him have those items as a means of comfort.
There's still lots of time that he can have it without worry. DD refused a
pacifier of any sort, DS loved it. DS also is a perfectly normal 5 year old
now. He has good vision, his speech and vocabulary are right up there with
all the other children his age, his teeth are straight and fine, he nursed
very well for a long time before going to regular homo milk and doesn't suck
his thumb or anything like that!

sha68...

We still leave the landing light on every night and leave doors open
for the children that want them and two like a light and three like
total darkness. I left a light on mainly for the time when toilet
training at night, I didn't want the girls wondering around looking for
the toilet in darkness adding fear to an already tough training issue.

As for the dummy (as its called in the uk, horrid name) there is a Book
by Jill Murphy called The last Noo Noo which deals with removing a
pacifier from a tot but the book is aimed 3 year olds.

Info from Walker books website
The last NooNoo by

"A brilliantly funny book with an independent-minded central character
who, ultimately, makes his own decision to given up his dummy."
Practical Parenting

Categories: Picture Book
For readers aged: 3+
Themes: Growth, Growing Up

Publication details
The Last Noo-Noo

Pub date: 01 Sep 2003
ISBN: 0744598354

32 pages.

I am not sure if this is available in the US but it may be able to be
ordered from a website.
This book helped us.

Sharon UK

Rose Garten...

Well as to the light I wouldn't be any help as DD(7) still sleeps with a
night light. I got her a globe touch light that has three settings. I
figure it can be educational and if she wants to read a book before bed
she can turn the light up and down without getting up. I prefer her to
have some light though so that we can look in on her during the night if
need be.

As to the binkies DD was big on binkies. I believe at one time I
counted 15 in the house. I remember her sitting on the floor one time
with one in her mouth and one in each hand and a look of pure ecstasy on
her face. At about 18 months we started telling her that binkies were
for bed time only. We kept a baby gate on her door because our bed
rooms were on the 2nd floor. If we would go to get her and she had one
in her mouth we would say "What did you forget?". She quickly learned
that she wouldn't get picked up until the binky was gone. You don't say
if your son uses them outside of sleeping. We hadn't bought any for a
long time and they gradually started breaking. When we got down to the
last one and it broke we told her it was broke and she went and threw it
in the trash. We had a few rough nights after that but we just kept
reminding her that the binkies were all broke.

As a foot note I got the last one out of the trash and kept it in my
drawer. She found it several years later and laughed at me for keeping
it. Oh well.

Jeff...

You don't need to change anything (except the dirty diapers ;-). What your
friend tells you about the lights is wrong. Sleeping with lights on won't
damage anyone's vision.

And the pacifier will just give him comfort. You don't need to take it away
for a long while.

Penny Gaines...

There was a study a couple of years ago, that did cause some concerns
about allowing children to sleep with a nightlight, however there
were some concerns about the design of the study. So no-one is certain
whether there is a real concern or not.

It's fine for you to decide to change your kid's habits, but I wouldn't
do both at once. But its just as fine to leave them.

FWIW, my kids still have light in their rooms - from an open door into
a lighted hallway - and they are long past the baby stage.

dragonlady...

I can't find it now, but I seem to recall that the found out that
sleeping with a light on as a baby correlated with adult poor eyesight