6 month old wanting to be held all the time

Hi there,

My 6 month old boy wants to be held all the time. I've tried putting
him down with toys, in the exersaucer, sitting with him, etc. etc. but
it only works for a few minutes before he decides that he wants to be
"on Mommy." The problem is I have another boy (twins) I have to take
care of (who doesn't mind playing by himself most of the time), and
when I'm constantly holding one, it's hard to take care of the other
one. But if I don't pick him up, he would just cry and cry and cry...

My husband says it's a temper tantrum, but aren't babies too young at
this age to have temper tantrums?

Nan...

Yes, much too young.

Also, I've read that kids go through a period of time where they want
to be held constantly, could that be what's happening? And if so, how
long does it last?

Has anyone else gone through this? Any advises on what I should do?

Marie...

Wear a sling, or let some unimportant things go, such as a perfectly clean
house. This phase won't be forever, and it will get easier.

I had a needy velcro baby who wanted to be with me 24/7. I picked her up or
carried her or held her all the time. For some months, DH had to take over
the major grocery shopping as she couldn't bear to be separated from me. At
that age, they need all the love and attention for thriving. It's not a
temper tantrum. They are communicating their needs to you, and if you
consistently answer them, they learn to trust you. Some babies are much
needier than the others, and they are designed to be in close contact with
their moms for security, hence the popular wraps and slings to meet their
need.

Today, DD is very independent and can play by herself for a long while since
around her 1st birthday. She still needs me and has some long periods of
cuddling with me, but is nowhere like what she used to be.

I imagine it's harder to do with 3 children, though. You have my sympathies.

Marie
DD - almost 23 months

Acko...

At about 4-5 months (usually post colic) they learn they will get attention
if they cry.
It's a hard to do, but best if you don't respond straight away to the crying
by rewarding your child each time with a cuddle or nurse etc.

Chookie...

The only I family I know who tried that now has older children who cry REALLY
loudly, because that's how to get attention.

You might find that when he cries for attention it sounds different to when
he cries for a feed, nappy or wind.
If you put him down make sure he has sensory stimulation (sound and or
visual) to keep him occupied. Sometimes a TV or talkback radio might work
to give the impression there is someone there. It's difficult to do but
basically reward the good behaviour and not so much the crying, otherwise it
can get worse.

Hope this helps, I tried it with one of mine and it worked. Have also heard
the experts saying it's the right thing to do.

Gary (father of four)

Nan...

I can't say how long it will last, but some kids just need to be held
more than others. Do you have a sling, or Bjorn-type carrier? If
not, I suggest getting one. You can wear the one, while still taking
care of the other, and getting things done.

-L....

Sorry I don't have better advice, but you're not alone. My son wanted
to be held a lot and still does - he's almost 2. I hold him as much as
I have time for, and sometimes when I need to do other things he cries
for a bit but then gets busy with something else. Some kids are just
more needy than others, I think.

I would get a sling or wrap if he will stay in it (my son hated it) and
see if that will appease him.

Welches...

I'd get a sling to carry them in. I carried #2 until a year old and
discovered I could do almost anything wearing her. She had phases where she
wanted to be with me and it was easier to pop her into the sling and get on
then try and accomodate her another way. She grew out of it gradually. She
was better once she crawled but if I was working in the kitchen or going up
and downstairs which wasn't practical for her to follow then I'd carry her.
If you find the front slings too heavy then at 6 months (once they're
sitting up) you can use the back carriers, but he may not find that as
comforting.
Debbie