toilet training

We thought we had at long last toilet trained our three and a half year
old but all seems to have fallen apart. He first learned to pee in the
toilet (standing up) before starting nursery school (around two and
three quarters). Then to poo in the toilet for a short while - maybe
four weeks. Then he began to refuse to sit on the toilet and would only
poo in a nappy. This continued for around five months until we had
several confrontations. At the start of the new year he began using the
toilet successfully, for a couple of weeks. Then he reverted to pooing
in the night time nappy, so we decided to try no nappies at night.
After two nights of bed wetting, it all fell into place. Pooing in the
toilet and dry nights. However, to our dismay, he has been bed wetting
at night and pooing in has pants for the last four days. What can we do?

Nan...

Back off completely. He's engaged you in a power struggle at this
point.

Jeff...

Correct. And you will never win. After all, it is his poop and pee. He will
put it where HE wants to.

Stephanie...

IMO go back to diapers until the power struggle memory is lost for both of
you. You can lead a child to the potty, you cannot make him go.

dragonlady...

He may well not be ready to be dry at night. It is unrelated to toilet
training. The fact that he was dry for a few nights isn't necessarily
an indication of his body being ready for that. (And 3-1/2 is not an
unusual age to be unable to be consistantly dry through the night.) So
I'd put him back in night time diapers, or just resign yourself to LOTS
of sheet washing.

I don't know what to say about the daytime pooing -- but I'm sure others
here will have suggestions.