My child is biting others

I am having an issue this week with my 2 1/2 boy who started biting other
kids at the day care. Today he bit a kid so hard he broke skin and my wife

Irrational Number...

My 2.5-year-old Pillbug is developmentally
delayed and went through a biting phase.
It started with his little brother being
born and he would bite _him_, then bite
us, then he bit a teacher, until he finally
bit another student. We did everything
("no bite", hold him, time out for him,
we left the room, etc.) short of biting
him back. (Well, I tried to bite him
back, but I couldn't, and he thought
it was funny that I'd put his fingers
in my mouth.)

Eventually, we figured out he was biting
because he's hungry. So, our solution
was to give him a bottle in the car,
on the way to therapy.

Now, since Pillbug is delayed and still
has no words, this was one of the ways
he communicated with us. YMMV.

had to pick him because he was isolated. We have told him numerous times
that this was 'not ok'.

I don't know if he's frustrated, stressed or angry. He seems to be happy
all the time and we take very good care of him at home. Sometimes he bites
his mother to 'show affection'. We always tell him 'do not bite' or 'no
biting'. When we ask him why he's biting, he doesn't have an answer and
looks puzzled.

I wanted to know how others manage this issue. I am thinking of scolding
him and take away some of his privilages.

What are best ways to make him stop biting? I don't want this behaviour to
advance into serious problems later.

TIA

Banty...

I had this problem with my son at that age, and was able to fix it. HOW I fixed
it will sound very strange, so hear me out.

At two, the child bites because it feels good to his mouth, and he gets an
amusing reaction from the folks he bites. He does NOT connect the pain others
are feeling with his bite. Not at two and a half. So, not to worry - this isn't
a little sociopath in the making :) This is very, very common.

How you fix it - bite him back immediately after he bites you (or your wife do
it - whichever he bites first.) Maybe repeat a time or two if he does it again.

This is *sorta* a punishment, but not really - it's how you get him to associate
his bite with the pain it causes. It's not like spanking or anything like that.
It's a first simple lesson in empathy - connecting his action to pain it causes.
Bite him enough to have him feel the sting of it, then state calmly that that's
why he should not bit other people, because that's how it feels when he does it
to t hem.

Don't do it in anger; it's a demonstration.

Banty (I still remember my son with tears, rubbing his arm, nodding silently

dragonlady...

Personally, I don't like the idea of an adult biting a child to show
that biting is wrong, any more than I think it's a good idea to hit a
kid to show that hitting is wrong.

Nikki...

I would never bite Luke either. I will admit to secretly wishing that
Hunter would bite him back ;-) He never did though.

dragonlady...

Don't you hate it when they behave?

Nikki...

At times, YES!

You are less than two months away from delivering your twins now; how
are you doing? Have you been ordered to bed rest? I know that's

Nikki...

I'm tired!! :-) I've got all the regular aches and pains of pregnancy and
I'm a bit afraid of the next month or two as I know I'm going to get much
bigger, lol.

Nikki...

Nope not yet. Everything is right as rain so far so I feel very lucky.
Actually I'm still working full time and while I've slowed down at home, not
much has changed there. Dh doesn't seem to get it. I really hope to work
as long as possible so I can take the time after they are born but I might
need to call in some recruits to help at home so I can get more rest on the
weekends.

common; since my twins were not diagnosed, I never got that particular
challenge/luxury (take your pick), but my body did it for me: I was
probably sleeping close to 18 hours a day by the time I was as far along

Nikki...

I did go to bed at 8pm last night, lol. I can't sleep that whole time due
to various complaints that I'll spare everyone but it is nice to stretch out
and rest.

Hunter and Luke are both in school now,

as you are! Hunter and Luke are both in school now, iirc, so at least
you can rest during the day, and they don't require the amount of direct
care that a preschooler or toddler would.

Nikki...

Hunter is in 1st grade and Luke is in preschool but since I'm at work it
doesn't really matter :-)

Thinking of you often.

Nikki...

I'm so far behind with everything I'm trying to wean myself from the on-line
things I look at. I miss it though so it is hard!!

OTOH, I can remember Brazelton saying that the quickest way to stop a
biter was to put them in a playpen with ANOTHER biter.

John Dalberg