Question about some preschool policies

When my son was in preschool, the teacher of his 2-year-old class really
stood out in this type of communication. Each teacher was supposed to
write a weekly letter to parents describing the week's activities,
although some were more conscientious about it than others. This
particular teacher always made a point of mentioning the underlying
significance of the classroom activities (e.g. - "It might look like
they're just messing around with fingerpaint, but when they do that
they're improving their fine motor skills and learning about what
happens when you mix colors together"). She happened to be the only
teacher in the preschool who also held state certification as a
kindergarten teacher, so I think perhaps she was more skilled at
explaining the educational value of various play activities. When the
twice-yearly parent evaluations of teachers were done, she regularly got
glowing reviews on how well she communicated with parents. So maybe
there needs to be a little more detailed communication of the
educational purposes behind the curriculum?

Ericka Kammerer...

I think there is definitely some of that. I
think if we do some more communicating, both as a school
and on a class-by-class basis, about the purpose of
the activities in class that will help parents feel
that their children are getting an appropriate education,
even from an academic perspective.
I think the issue of some parents wanting more
information about what's going on has more to do about

Banty...

OK. I'm just throwing out ideas :)

Ericka Kammerer...

Much appreciated--hopefully we can find some way
to put a lot of these ideas into action in a way that
does work out for our situation.

Banty...

That's fine. Actually, I'm seldom 'wed' to my ideas, and oftentimes find that
other folks around me on committes are afraid to bring up their own ideas once
I've expressed mine!

Frankly, I often feel a bit put off by parent coffees, etc. since they tend to
have a group of 'joiners' set the tone after awhile. I tried these. Also, you
only see the moms (and some involved dads) but no other context. Nothing really
replaces the connections that parents, with one thing in common, meeting each
other naturally face to face, seeing who has what kid, who is carting older kids
in soccer uniforms, etc.

Ericka Kammerer...

I agree. They've never been my cup of tea either.

Rosalie B....

Yes it is hard to do. I did that when I first moved into the house -
within the first week I was there. I was pg at the time, so people
were nice to me. In those days (this was in 1961), it was still in
the etiquette books that the old neighbors called on the new neighbors
and left calling cards!!! Anyway, I didn't usually just go and knock
on doors - I watched out the window for them to be outside and then
'happened' to be there and said Hi, or asked them some question (Do
you know a good dry cleaner, where is the closest library etc)

Rosalie B....

Probably the others there are in the same boat - maybe she should look
into starting another Temple - having meetings in another place than
the Temple.

dragonlady...

I had that problem with both of my daughters, who blossomed early and
vigorously (dd1 was a triple D by 8th grade). Since she also spoke with
more maturity, it sometimes took a while for others to realize how young
she was. It was pretty scary, and I'm glad they are both old enough now.

But it was a problem in TWO ways: they attracted boys or young men who
were WAY to old for them (the decent ones dropped as soon as they
realized how old they were) -- while at the same time boys their own age
were unwilling to approach them. In talking with other women who
blossomed young, and mothers of same, I've discovered that that's a
common problem: they can't get boys their own age to get interested,
because they're intimidated somehow.

I remember my sister discussing that. In her case, it wasn't so much
the cleavage, as the fact that she was tall and stunningly beautiful.
She dispaired of EVER getting a boy intrested in her. At one point,
when she was about 13, she was in a college play; one of the kids in
the play started to express interest in her, even AFTER he found out she
wasn't a fellow college student. Mom had enough sense not to forbid a
friendship, but would only allow her to see him at our home, or talk to
her by phone. Fortunately, as some point, my sister asked mom what
would be wrong with a guy in his 20's who was interested in someone HER
age instead of girls his own age.

(Eventually she met and married one heck of a good looking guy, who is
also nice and sweet and seems totally unaware of the fact that he's just
as stunning as she is.)

toto...

Um.... As a Hindu, she can't just start another Temple. She doesn't
know any of the priests who were here before Katrina. And she has
lost connections to anyone because the ones she knew have not returned
so I don't think she can have meetings with just random Indian people.

Rosalie B....

Oh, I didn't know that. Are there such things as Temple schools?

toto...

No, no schools.

Would there be any Hindus outside the area that she could contact?

toto...

Yes, in Chicago and possibly in Texas and California, but I am not
sure that would help.

(Could her contacts in Chicago find something out for her?) Can you
find out what the former Temple members are doing for connections now?

toto...

Since we don't know any of the former Temple members, that would be
difficult. The Indian people she did meet here before Katrina have
moved to various areas and while she is in touch with them via email
and phone, they don't have any info for her about the community here
because they too were *transients* who moved here recently just as
we did.

It would be nice if there were some community events where she could
hook up with people, but so far we haven't been able to find any.
The Indian community here is much more scattered and not easy
to find. In Chicago, you could go to specific areas and find a lot
of Indian people - there were several Indian cultural centers. Here
there was *one* temple and it's gone.

My dil is used to being a part of the cultural group without effort
because her parents were well-known in the community up north
and hosted lots of events. She doesn't have the skills needed to
just organize stuff, plus with dgs's therapy and dgd's activities, it
would be hard for her to plan the elaborate events with Indian food
that she was used to back home.

Can you tell neither my dil nor I feel at home here at all yet. Too

Rosalie B....

Yes I can tell. And I do know what the area is like now - we spent
last winter on the Gulf Coast from Fort Walton Beach FL to Dauphin
Island Alabama, and then we drove through MS and Louisiana to Houston
TX.. We were in New Orleans in December 2004, and opted not to go
back this year because I was finding the areas we were in so
depressing.

toto...

The fact is that it will take many years before the area returns to
any sense of normality. The Children's Museum is still waiting on
roofing. The Aquarium is reopening though (on May 26, I think) and
the Zoo has reopened, so those are activities for dgd at least. The
problem is that the Zoo is no good for dgs because his sensory issues
make it too overwhelming for him.

Rosalie B....

If the Zoo is too much for him I think the aquarium will be too.
(I've been there). It seems to me that the Zoo is in the middle of
a big park in the Garden district. Is just the park too much for him?

toto...

The Zoo is large, but there are always too many people and too many
sights. Fish are a bit more calming, but it still may be
overwhelming. He's very visual and the amount of stimulation drains
him. We generally try to leave him home with one parent or
grandparent for these kinds of outings.

many weird events have intervened between us moving here and
stuff to make our adjustments easy. If you could see the pictures
of our neighborhoods with the FEMA trailers in place, you might
understand that we don't *have* any neighborhoods. Aside from
that there is no walking around in these neighborhoods without
crossing busy streets with canals in the middle. I do like my
immediate next door neighbors and their kids are nice. They are
quite a bit older than dgd though and are not home to play much
when she is here. We are going to try to get together with a couple
of people we met with kids her age from her preschool and from her
gymnastics class this summer. Hopefully that will promote some
friendships.

Rosalie B....

I think it will get easier when the children are a bit older.

toto...

Hopefully, it will get easier in late August when dgd starts preK at
the public school. There is more diversity in that school than in the
Church preschool and we will get a parent directory, so we should
be able to make some contacts. My problem with the Church preschool
was that the parents were pretty unwelcoming to newcomers though the
teachers are very nice and the kids are great during the preschool
hours. And, we didn't get a class list since we entered in her in
November after school had already started the month before. She
had a great preschool placement in Chicago and many of the moms
there were people I already knew, so had we stayed there, I am sure
that we would have had more playdates for her.

Rosalie B....

FWIW, I never had playdates for my kids. If they didn't have
neighbors that we could walk to, they just stayed at home with me.
Doesn't seem to have hurt them any.

toto...

She wants to play with kids and there are none and she really cannot
get her brother to play with her though she tries sometimes.

I had playdates for my kids when they were little mainly because
everyone worked so there was little informal action on the streets
where we lived. Kids were in school from age 2 on, parents worked
all day. Different world from the one I grew up in where I could just
walk over and knock on my neighbor's door and ask the other kids to
come out and play.

Personally, my feeling as a parent in the program has been
that it wasn't all that hard for me to get as involved as
I wanted. I *could* volunteer in the classroom. There
*were* class events where most parents came. There is
a directory where I can look folks up. I could walk in
for pickup or dropoff. So, my initial reaction is to
say there's enough and those who aren't happy either are
too needy or just need to get off their rumps. BUT, I
don't want to dismiss other parents' concerns out of
hand if it's just my own personal bias speaking ;-)

Banty...

But I find that at the class events, often other family members, grandparents,
etc., are in tow, and, although I'll be introduced, parents' attention are taken
up elsewhere. Volunteering in classroom has the same 'joiner' problem, and I
only meet a subset of parents.

OK, maybe I'm naysaying, and I can fully understand how a car line is both the
only workable option for you and the most popular with parents. I'm reaching
for something that would more closely approximate the informal pickup time
parents interactions in quality. I can't think of anything else at the moment..

Ericka Kammerer...

It may not be a particularly solvable problem ;-)

At my son's daycamp, there is a carline for the regular pickup and drop times,
and there most certainly has to be. However, when I pick him up late for
arranged 'after-care', I have to park and walk up to the office, and I get some
parent-parent interaction and me-counsellor interaction again that's nice.
Maybe even some venue (like the playground) that works for some parents
anyway...

Ericka Kammerer...

There are people who do that, so it's not completely
unavailable. And really, most of the teachers are chatty
and like to talk to the parents. It's just that we can't
*encourage* chatting at drop off and pick up or use that
as a main form of communication between parents and teachers
because it creates too many logistical issues. And, if
the parents can't spend a lot of time chatting with the
teachers and there's a car line to be had, most aren't
inclined to go in just so they can talk to the other parents--
which, of course, means fewer parents to talk to so even
fewer parents are interested in walking to the class!
And as I responded to someone else, there certainly are
parents who hang out at the playground after school.
Heck, it's possible that the lack-of-interaction comments
we got were from people who just happened to be in
a class where the other parents had older kids and weren't
keen on much socializing and wouldn't have come even
if there were more events. It's hard to tell ;-)
I agree that a natural consequence of the
carline is that there's a lack of an opportunity for
that casual running into folks on the way to the
classroom. As you say, though, I don't think there's
an easy way to replicate that some other way. But,
perhaps if we can facilitate something earlier in
the year, like a picnic or something, it might create
some contacts that parents could then nurture through
other means. We do have the parent info night, which
theoretically every parent should attend, but in reality
a lot of the returning parents skip it, especially if
they already know the teacher. Maybe they'd be more
likely to come to a fun family event rather than a
parent info night.

Best wishes,
Ericka

I agree having that may well be inpracticable for your preschool, given all the

bizby40...

LOL! DD is starting middle school next year. They made a big issue
of how they keep the 6th graders mostly separate from the older kids.
DD is quite petite -- the growth chart predicts she'll end up 5'2".
Her taller-than-average parents are a bit surprised by this. Anyway,
it's going to be difficult to put her on the bus next year, with not
only eighth graders, but 12th. The middle school and high school
students ride together.

constraints.

Banty...

Eh - don't count on it, but you can try it. Again, you get the 'joiners' with
more time being the ones who rush in and set the tone, and that situation still
lends itself to having the "involved" vs. "uninvolved" parents.

Try it, though... it gives *some* outlet.

Ericka Kammerer...

Well, and like another person (offline) suggested
regarding the academics stuff--we could just invite any
interested parents to the sessions the staff do on
kindergarten preparation/literacy/numeracy/etc. Probably
no one would come, but the fact that they were invited
means that they're aware it happened and it's their own
choice not to come ;-) Sometimes it's more impression

Jeanne...

I will admit that DD's school has some faults with its administration,
but it's not for lack of trying. About 30 children from the four

dragonlady...

Sounds like the town I lived in in Massachusetts. I once ran into
someone in a waiting room, who was grieving over having had to move so
far away from friends and family. I was being sympathetic, until I
discovered that her "hometown" was only 15 minutes away. (I had a hard
time being sympathetic to her "loss", since my closest relatives were
over 1000 miles away. Another woman in the room had moved their from
Sweden -- she had a hard time keeping a straight face.)

I realized at some point that almost ALL of my friends in Mass had been
born out of state, and none in the town in which I was living.

Here in San Jose, that is less the case -- though here the city has
grown so much that a much smaller percent of the people who are here
were raised here!

I wonder what it will be like in North Carolina.

(T minus 5 days and counting. And avoiding getting ready.)

primary classrooms usually stay at the school and move up from the
primary classes while others transfer to other schools. When DD was
moving from primary to the lower elementary class, there was an
orientation meeting to educate parents how Montessori methods are used
for older children. After the meeting, parents visit all three lower
elementary classrooms. The orientation was advertised; there is a large
outdoor billboard that had the date and time (right next to the carline
on the driver's side); notices went out to the students in kindergarten
at least twice. How many parents showed up? Two - me and another
parent.

Then I heard complaints from parents that they didn't understand the
Montessori method in lower elementary grades. When I told them I had
gone to the orientation, they claimed that they never heard about it and
that the school administration was terrible, how come they never get
notices, and so forth.

Ericka Kammerer...

Yeah, we get some of that too. I don't really think
it's coincidence that the people I hear the most complaints
from are often those who've been least likely to get involved
in anything and most likely to "miss" other communications. ;-)
With anonymous surveys, I can't really tell if the
negative survey comments are coming from these people or
from other people who've just been quiet before. Sometimes
there are clues on the surveys (some blatant), but it is
possible that the results are just noise.

dragonlady...

Though I haven't worked in a school setting, I have a smillar problem in
church: we include information in the newsletters, the Sunday
bulletins, announcements from the pulpit, even mail notices home -- and
then get complaints that people didn't hear about things.

Sometimes, you just do the best you can, and remind the folks who
"didn't know" that you DID notify them.

Best wishes,
Ericka

management than anything else! Similarly, having a parent
group and having them arrange some activities might mean
that parents would perceive that there are opportunities
they're *choosing* not to take advantage of.

Banty...

Might work for awhile..

Maybe having all that academic stuff enumerated explictly in the reports will
make that certain niche Feel Better.

I'm way over my ears in all these posts, though, don't know what has already
been suggested or said.

Best wishes,
Ericka

wanting more feedback from the teachers on their individual
child. That one is a bit more squirrelly to deal with,
as there are significant costs to the teacher of finding
time to discuss or write out those things. Somehow there
has to be a balance. I also think that just as the kids
are on a track where they're gradually getting ready for
kindergarten, the parents are too ;-) By the time they
leave, the parents should be ready for the lack of hand
holding they'll be getting next year ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

I'm looking for some ideas/suggestions, if anyone
has the time or inclination. We've just tallied our annual
parent surveys from the preschool and are looking for some
creative ways to address the usual parent concerns, and
I was thinking that perhaps some of you have some ideas.
Two of the concerns that come up each year are
that parents want more information about what's going on
with their child and they want more opportunities to meet
other parents.

Sue...

One thing that our preschool did that I have never seen before was that the
head teacher (there were three altogether) would come out into the hallway
and tell us what they did that morning. That way we could talk about their
day with the kids and have some idea of what they did. I don't know if that
would be an option the teacher could do. Also, the teacher could write up a

Ericka Kammerer...

We don't have a huge preschool. For the 2yos, the
parents bring the kids to the classroom and pick them up.
There is usually some brief interaction between parent and
teacher, but there are only two teachers per class and
I don't think one could be spared entirely to come out and
brief everyone. The 2yos need more hands on attention

Sue...

Oh sure, I can believe that. We were lucky in that we had three teachers and
parent volunteers so there were more adults available so the teacher could
come out and talk with us. That was only one preschool for us though, the
other two preschools didn't handle things that way. They had newsletters
that were handed out each week. I felt though at the time that I was well
informed even with the hand-out.

during the transition. The teachers do write little notes
on the signout sheet if there were any particular issues.
They send out a monthly calendar with themes/activities/etc.
for the month, so there is some general discussion of that
already.
With the 3-4yos, the overwhelming majority use
the carline, so you might get a few words if the child's
teacher is the one to buckle in the child, but otherwise
there isn't any direct contact with the teacher. I *think*
that parents wouldn't be willing to give up the carline.
They seem very supportive of it.

darth_breather...

Did you get different feedback from the parents of the older and
younger kids?

Ericka Kammerer...

Oddly, no! But it could be different issues.
The 2yo parents are often new to preschool and want
a lot of hand-holding from teachers (plus there generally
needs to be more coordination between parent and teacher).
So, even if they get more, maybe they need more and so
they still perceive a deficit.

Perhaps that's the issue - they're missing the interaction they used to
have, but the convenience of the carline is substantial.

Ericka Kammerer...

A lot of our 3-4yos weren't in our 2yo program.
We keep most of the 2yos who don't move away, except
for the ones who were doing a nasty commute because we
were one of the very few places around here with a 2yo
program. Also, a lot of parents don't think about
starting preschool until 3yo. So, I'd guess probably
60+ percent of our 3-4yos were never with us for the 2yo
program and therefore didn't make the switch from
dropoff to carline.

Best wishes,
Ericka

little synopsis of what they did to hand out each time.

Ericka Kammerer...

At the beginning of the year, they give the
parents a general outline of the day. The monthly
calendar for each class tells parents themes and
special activities for each day, plus usually the
words to songs and fingerplays and any particular
skills they're working on.
Would you feel like that's sufficient (absent
any problems the child is encountering)? Or do you
think more is warranted? It's hard to tell from the
surveys whether the parents who have these comments
have legitimate gripes or whether they just have
unreasonable expectations about how much information
they can get about their child each day. (They do,

Sue...

I personally think the information is adequate. However, there will always
be parents who seem to need more information. I think for those parents,
perhaps they can come in and volunteer in the class. You may have to find
out specifically from those parents who want more information to see what
exactly they want and see if it is reasonable or not.

Again, it's hard for me

by the way, have the option to walk the 3-4yos to
their classes, but the teachers are busy during
that time helping the kids transition, so there
isn't really time for any sort of extended discussion
about a particular child and the teachers generally
ask that the parent who wants to discuss something
arrange another time to do it by phone, conference,
or whatever works.)

As far as meeting other parents, it does seem to me that you have lots of
opportunities to meet other parents, but I think that mostly it is up to the
parents to get themselves out there to meet others. I would see the parents
every time there was drop off and pick up so there was time to converse with
other parents. The preschool (and even elementary, middle school, and high
school) has a directory that they print up with names, addresses, email
addresses, and phone numbers so that parents can arrange playdates,
invitations, etc.

Ericka Kammerer...

Oh, I forgot to mention that. Our preschool does
put out a directory like that. Again, it's hard for me
to figure whether the parents are asking for too much here
or not. I have a child in the preschool now (and both my
older ones went there). Frankly, at the moment I'm one
of the parents who's plenty busy and doesn't need or want
a whole bunch of "opportunities." We have all the
socializing we can handle, thanks ;-) So, we'll do
the fun family activities because G. enjoys hanging out
with her classmates, but I'm not highly motivated to
come to a whole bunch of "parent mixers" since I'm not
really in need. On the other hand, maybe it would be
good to do more for the parents who want that, you know?
But on yet another hand, when we do them the attendance
isn't fabulous. Even if we have a significant number
of parents who *want* to meet each other, any particular
date/time isn't going to be good for some portion of
them, so we put time and money into arranging things and
then not many people show.

Sue...

See, that is a problem that we had also. There were weekly coffee gatherings
and sometimes there were a lot of parents there and sometimes not. For me,
when the kids were in preschool, that was my time to get stuff done or do a
quick grocery shop.

Do you think if there was a parent organization
that took over organizing things like that, maybe it would
be more effective? I kind of lean in that direction, but
I'm not sure.

Sue...

It might help. Again, perhaps question the parents that wanted more
interaction with other parents and see if they want to organize something
;o)

It really does seem to me that your preschool goes way above and beyond to
please the parents and include them. It may be a situation where you are not
going to please everyone all the time.

Ericka Kammerer...

It could be--it's hard to get a reality check
sometimes, y'know? In general, we have very few
complaints, but then sometimes parents go ballistic
over the oddest things and it makes you question your
sense of reality! ;-) On the other hand, we don't
want to fall into the trap of asking for feefdback
form the parents, and then excusing all of the
parents' concerns away.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Best wishes,
Ericka

Banty...

Yes - unless the preschool was connected with a church or something, I'd
actually feel a bit put off by any more than really minimal formal efforts to
get the parents to meet each other. IMO the best way to do this is to
facilitate it in the pickup times.

Ericka Kammerer...

It is connected with a church, but most students are
not church members. However, what I was reacting to were
survey results *from parents* saying they wanted more
opportunities to meet each other.
As I said with pickup times, almost all the 3-4yos
are picked up in the carline, so there really isn't interaction
among the parents there. However, I don't think the parents
are interested in giving up the carline. They seem nearly
universally supportive of it on the surveys. Maybe that's
just an incompatibility we'll have to live with. I just
don't want to dismiss the parent's concerns without trying
to see if there's a way out of it.

I also appreciated having a person each and every day to get feedback from on
pickup day. But I had a family daycare situation that did preschool stuff.

Ericka Kammerer...

I'm sure that would be lovely, but I don't think it's
really practical with a preschool situation where two teachers
have to oversee the transition for 10-14 kids during a short
timeframe. If the teacher only spent 60 seconds per parent,
that's 10-14 minutes and only 1 teacher handling the whole
class during a challenging time. I'm not sure how to make
that work. For the 2yos (where there is parent pickup and
dropoff at the classroom), the teachers to take a brief
moment to say anything out of the ordinary or share something
amusing, but it really takes both teachers on duty to manage the
transition with the kids.

Nan...

When YD was in a daycare recently due to my recovering from surgery,
the provider would give us a daily sheet on her activities. I liked
it, as it made me feel more connected to what she was experiencing
throughout the day.
I don't know that it would be practical for your preschool teachers to
be able to do anything similar, as that would require them to spend
time filling out the sheets, and that would be time away from the kids
in the class....

Ericka Kammerer...

Yeah, that's the challenge. The teachers do
a daily checksheet sort of thing for the first week
or two of classes to give feedback about the transition,
but the teachers report that it's a challenge to find
time to fill them out. They think it's worth it during
that transition period, but that it's cost prohibitive
to do it all year. There's also more feedback on
some things for the 2yos (e.g., they'll write on the
signout sheet if the child used the potty for those
who are potty training), and the older kids get more
feedback during progress reports on things like
kindergarten readiness skills, but I'm not sure how
we could accommodate significant information on a daily
basis. The kids are only at school for 3 hours, and
there aren't naptimes or teacher breaks to write much
down.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Best wishes,
Ericka

Jeanne...

It seems like you do a lot to communicate to parents what's happening in
the classroom. Maybe you need to ask the parents what do they want to
know? What kind of information are they missing?

Ericka Kammerer...

I'm not quite sure. They weren't always very
detailed in their responses on the surveys, and the surveys
are anonymous so I can't contact them for clarification.
It may be that there is some variation among teachers,
where some aren't providing quite as much information
as others, which is certainly an issue we can deal with.

Jeanne...

You know, this is where a parent oassociation may help. The parents may
be more communicable to other parents.

Ericka Kammerer...

That's definitely a possibility. We have
parent representatives that sit on the preschool board,
and they're identified in the directory. Still,
that's only three of them, so not every parent knows
one of the parent reps (though they could easily find
one if they wanted to).

In DD's school, it seems that some parents will never satisifed unless
they are *in* the classroom (or have a video feed...) At some point,
you've done all you can and it's up to the parent to ask the teacher
questions (to fill in what the parents see as holes).

Ericka Kammerer...

I think that *may* be the case, but don't want
to dismiss the concerns out of hand, especially if someone
has some clever ideas about how to communicate more
information at a reasonable cost.

Jeanne...

One thing that drives several type A parents up a tree at DD's school is
the no daily homework policy. Through 3rd grade, students do not have
daily homework. In the primary classes (preschool through K), the
children are given reading workbooks when they are deemed ready (they
pretty much can do the work by the time they are given these). BUT
there is no requirement to actually do the workbooks on a daily basis -
the workbooks are for the parents' benefit, not the children. They show
the parents what the children can do. The children have already learned
the material.

DD never did the workbooks regularly and didn't finish the series. She
was slower to learn to read than her peers but now as a 3rd grader,
she's an excellent reader. From what I could see, workbooks didn't work
for her. Getting books on hamsters did.

Jeanne...

Again, it seems your school does a lot to facilitate meeting other
parents. Maybe too much? At some point the parents need to take up the
reins.

Ericka Kammerer...

Sure, and with the directory they certainly have
the basic tool they need to accomplish that.

In our school, some parents decided to meet once a week for a coffee
chat. That led to playdates and informal get-togethers. BUT this was
all done without any help from the school administration. The school
put together a school directory; but the parents gathered email
addresses on their own. For a while, it was sparsely attended, then it
became crowded. It's now back to sparsely attended - it depends on the
current crop of parents.

Ericka Kammerer...

That's why I asked Sue or Banty (forget which one)
if they thought it would be more effective if a parent
organization took the lead on this. I kind of think it
would be more successful if the parents arranged it
themselves than when the school does it. Though, I did
think the idea of the school-sponsored "Boo Hoo Coffee"
was probably a good one for us.

Jeanne...

A parent association may help (DD's school also has one) but I'm not
sure how. At some point, the parents just have to talk to each and not
through some organization (school or parent organization). The parent
organization at DD's school provide the means for parents to communicate
with the school administration, not necessarily with each other
(although it probably helps with that).

We have picnics twice a year on school grounds. Everyone brings a dish
(assigned by class), their own plates, cups and flatware and trash bag.
The cost to the school is minimal.

Ericka Kammerer...

We do that just once, and it's at the end of the
year. I'm wondering if maybe it would be a good idea to
do it at the *beginning* of the year, though that's always
a bit of a hectic time.

Jeanne...

DD's private school does one picnic in October and another in early May.
In June, there is also a local beach picnic for the primary classes
(3-5 year olds) where older siblings are, of course, more than welcome.
By May or June, people are pretty relaxed.

Ericka Kammerer...

I'm thinking maybe it would help if we did
the picnic or something like it *early* in the school
year. That might be more helpful in facilitating
parent interactions for those who are keen to do
that.

darth_breather...

The kidergartens our kids went to did that. The Saturday before school
started, IIRC. Dads, moms, siblings, a dog or two. In the park.
Everyone bring one dish to share. Gave the kids a chance to meet each
other before school started, and the parents to netowrk with each other
and the teachers. If the weather is good where you are, that sort of
thing might be an option. It was quite unstructured, except for a
welcome speech from the organizers, and some circle time for the kids.

Ericka Kammerer...

We did have some "summer play dates" where families
were invited to bring the children and play at the school
playground at certain times. Families could meet other
families and the teachers and the children could familiarize
themselves with the school. We got positive feedback on
those from people who attended. It wasn't really organized
on a class-by-class basis, and I'm sure many missed it
due to summer vacations and such, but I think it was a
good idea and we're planning to do it again. A picnic
shortly after school starts might be worth considering
in addition, though.

Another possibility is to borrow a concept from big school and have
room-parents - one or two parents for each class who liaises with the
teacher and other parents, organizes good stuff and generally helps
communication. Ideally, have dads involved as well. Guys sometimes get
marginalized in these settings.

Ericka Kammerer...

Yeah, that thought has flitted across my mind
a few times. Some of the classes have at least informal
room parents (you know--those one or two parents who
jump in and start organizing things without an
engraved invitation ;-) ). I should talk to some of
those teachers and find out if they find that sort of
thing useful and would be interested in working with
a room parent. We're a little nervous about parental
involvement getting *too* overboard. This is an area
that seems prone to excess, and it can be hard to
curb the enthusiasm sometimes! We serve such a wide
diversity of students that we don't want, say, a parent
organization starting to arrange for all sorts of things
with fees and extras that many of our students won't be
able to afford. It's unclear what the boundaries would
be on a separate parent organization fundraising for the
school. We'll have to proceed with caution and clear
discussions of boundaries! There's another local preschool
where most of the "ladies who lunch" send their kids.
It's a great preschool in many ways (and a pretty
serious endowment from some Famous Folk didn't hurt
either). They've got a very...um...aggressive parent
group that does *lots* of fundraising and other activities.
Every parent has to agree to serve in some capacity.
We don't really want to go there. Hopefully we'll be
able to achieve some sort of happy medium! If we can
have room parents work out as a service to teachers and
classes without a sort of creeping featurism thing
going on, that would be lovely.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Best wishes,
Ericka

At the local public elementary school, there are two spaghetti dinners
(one in September and one in April) and a Fun Fair.

Best wishes,
Ericka

dragonlady...

It sounds like you are already doing a great deal to see to it that the
parents are well informed. Frankly, I don't think there IS enough
information -- at least, for some of us, it is just so hard to send our
kids off and not be a part of their every-day life, we want to know
everything that happened, and our kids may or may not be very good at
telling us stuff. So, for at least some percentage of the parents, I
believe that what they are REALLY telling you is that it's hard to let
go of being with their child all of the time, and being part of every
minute of their lives. (Heck, my son is 20 and part of me wants to call
his teachers to see how he's doing so far away from home ....)

I think photos can help, some. If there is a way for you to have a
decent camera handy, and see to it you get at least one photo of each
child each week or each month -- an inexpensive digital camera and cheap
printer might make a world of difference. I find parents LOVE to see
pictures of what their kids were doing when they were away -- it makes
them feel less out of the loop of their kids' lives. (The ultimate
would be a spy-cam in the room with a live feed that the parents could
access, but even *I* think that's over the top!)

If teachers are available to talk to parents when they have concerns,
and with the other "routine" information, I think you're doing fine.

As far as the parents' desire to have more opportunitities to get to
know each other, I think your school is doing enough: any more ought to
come from the parents themselves. By all means, if there are parents
interested in forming a parent organization, find a way to support THEM
doing the work instead of the school doing it.

Cathy Kearns...

After getting all these ideas and suggestions, what did you decide to do?

Ericka Kammerer...

Oh, we're wrapping up our school year right now,
so any changes will go into effect next fall. Right
now, I'm collecting all the suggestions and I'll bring
them to the board and the director and we'll see what
sorts of things seem feasible. We've got one parent
who has offered to be involved in starting up a parent
group, so if she decides to go forward with that, we'll
likely discuss the options with her as well.

Best wishes,
Ericka

PattyMomVA...

I really enjoyed getting the daily "What We Did Today" paper at the daycare
center my children attended. Each class had the weekly calendar of planned
topics and activities posted in the classroom. This was a photocopied sheet
in addition to that and was sent home with each child. It had blocks for
each major part of the day such as Morning Circle. The teacher would
handwrite something in each block to tell what the kids did. They often
used specific names of the children to report on who helped with the day's
weather, for example. There was usually enough information that we could
start a conversation about their day.

Something like that could help with communication even though it wouldn't be
specific to each child.

-Patty, mom of 1+2

Cathy Kearns...

Your teachers are likely coming up with daily lesson plans. At one school

Ericka Kammerer...

Well, yes and no. Parents have a general outline
for the day, and they do have a monthly calendar listing
themes and activities for each day. I don't believe that
the teachers (most of them, anyway) have formal, written
out daily lesson plans.

my daughter was at they photocopied that lesson plan and sent it home with
the children each day. The lesson plan original was handwritten on a form
with big boxes labeled "large motor skills", "fine motor skills", "language"
etc, so not only did the parents see what the kid was doing, but how that
activity fit in developmentally. So, I'm thinking the form was to help the
teachers make sure they had activities planned that day for all areas, and
the school chose to use that to communicate with the parents. If the
teacher needed to chat with you, they would leave a note on the top.

A different school/daycare my older daughter went to would have a family
activity every two months or so, alternating times. So one month is might
be a 5pm early dinner picnic, with pickup time extended from 6 to 6:15.
Another time it might be a picnic lunch that the parents are invited to.
Another time it might be the early costume parade at Halloween, that started
just after drop-off, and that way their costumes were still clean, parents
got them dressed, and parent then could get them out of their costumes for
the rest of the day. By alternating times more parents could make
something. By not having it too often (I think there were 5 or 6 a year)
they were well attended, as you wouldn't have as many folks skipping one
because they just did that. Around father's day I remember them having
father contests, including who could change a diaper faster, who could get
their child properly buckled into the carseat the fastest, etc. And at most
of these the kids would do a song or something.

Ericka Kammerer...

We have some things like that, but it's only a three
hour program, so we can't do things like picnics after an
extended pickup. We have a picnic, but it's hours after
anyone has been at the school.

That said, the easiest way to meet parents was when you were wandering into
the room picking the kids up. And the easiest way to see what a child has
been doing is checking out the classroom. A car line doesn't allow that.
Though if I still had tiny children I would consider convienence of the car
line a huge plus. Also, depending on how you got the okay from the city to
get your center licensed, the car line might be required as part of the EIR.

Ericka Kammerer...

I don't *think* we're absolutely required to have a
car line, but it would cause some significant issues if we
didn't have one. Also, we'll likely start construction on
the site next year, at which point the car line may be the
only safe option for dropoff and pickup (don't have all those
details worked out yet).

Best wishes,
Ericka

Chookie...

THe day cares DS1 attended (with the exception of The Bad One) used a
portfolio system, plus six-monthly developmental checklists. The portfolio
included examples of conversations with the child, descriptions/samples of
items they had made/drawn, etc, and photos. I think they had a structured
arrangement so that each child was focussed on in turn. Portfolios, IIRC,
look at typical rather than exceptional/cute stuff. The portfolios were kept
in the room and were available to parents at all times.

As far as opportunities to meet parents -- sounds like you're doing plenty
already.

More information

shinypenny...

DD#2's preschool had every parent volunteer as a teacher's aid 2 or 3
x's per year (can't remember how many times now!). It was great: the
preschool got the extra, free help to offset costs, and the parents got
a chance to experience the class. Parent duties included setting up
snacks, clean-up, reading a book to the class, and helping to supervise
an activity - they really put you to work, and as a plus, parents felt
so committed to that preschool, it is one of the most successful ones
in town with a long history of donations from graduates.

Ericka Kammerer...

We do have some co-op preschools in the area that
do that. Our niche has pretty much been offering an
alternative to that. We ask on the survey whether parents
feel they participate enough in their child's education,
and we get a lot of comments back where parents say they
don't come in the classroom much, but can't do more because
of other kids or other obligations. I'm not sure it would
work for us to switch to a co-op model.

shinypenny...

Co-Op Model! Yep, that's what it was called. Duh. I had totally
forgotten - it's been a long time. It's pretty amazing to think my kids
were ever preschool age at all!

This may or may not work for those parents with other children. In our
situation it was a *requirement* that you had to commit to working in
the class a certain number of days. That was admittedly tough for me,
since I was a single working mom at the time, but I managed, taking off
the morning from work (you weren't allowed to fob it off on your nanny
either). You could do a similar program, but make the volunteering
optional.

Ericka Kammerer...

Parents are welcome to come into the classroom.
We ask that they coordinate it with the teacher rather
than just dropping in (parents can drop in to check
how things are going, but they should coordinate with
the teacher if they actually want to stay and help out),
but that's all. Some parents do choose to do this.
Of course, it's sometimes an issue that the parents
who are most likely to do this are the ones whose
children respond the least well to it ;-)

DD#1's preschool had "parent days" - one at the beginning of the year,
one during the year, and one at the end of the year. All parents were

toto...

Is there a bulletin board outside the classroom where activities for
each day are posted? While this does not give information on
individual children, it might help parents who want to ask their
children what they did in school. We posted the web or the weekly
lesson plan in a format that parents could easily read to see what we
were doing for the week or day. It included books that were being
read on any theme so parents could get and read those at home if they
wished to do that and it included songs that we sang too.

Ericka Kammerer...

Because of carline, most of the 3-4yo parents
wouldn't see a bulletin board regularly. We do include
info on books/songs/fingerplays/themes/activities in the
monthly classroom newsletter.

Banty...

My son's daycamp has a big outdoor signboard with reminders (shortly stated, big
letters) that is posted at the exit for parents to see at the end of the
carline.

One thing parents seemed to like was that we sent home recipes for
things like playdoh or words to songs if we used piggyback songs for
any themes we did.

Ericka Kammerer...

Yeah, they really like that-nothing more frustrating
than hearing the child sing *something* and having no idea
what it is!

Email was great for us though we did have a few people who did not
have email or who didn't really use it much. You can suggest to those
without email access, that they can sign up for a free account, like
yahoo or hotmail and access it at the public library, btw. It's a bit
more difficult for those parents, but that is an option so that
everyone would have access to the emails that were being sent.

Ericka Kammerer...

We certainly could. My only hesitation is
relying on email too much, such that those who don't
do email start missing out on important information.
We serve a number of very poor families, some of whom
don't speak English well or have much bigger issues
than getting to the library for Internet access. At
our elementary school, they had the resources that
the principal found ways to set every family up with
Internet access that didn't already have it, so they
can rely more heavily on email and other Internet
based tools, but I don't think we can go that far.

an588...

Why not use email, and print the info out on paper
for the families who don't have email?

Ericka Kammerer...

We could, although such a system can get
a bit cumbersome and prone to breakdowns at times.

Best wishes,
Ericka

toto...

On this score, I have several different parent information
sheets with information about what the children are learning
through play.

toto...

This is one that the preschools I taught at did and it
was quite popular.

toto...

Do you send home classlists with parent information -
names and addresses and phone numbers?

Ericka Kammerer...

Yes, I forgot to mention that.

We added email addys to that as well the last year I
taught in Chicago. That worked pretty well.

Ericka Kammerer...

Yeah, we include email addys (for those
who wish to share them) in the school directory
as well.

Best wishes,
Ericka

invited to attend for the day. It was fun, you got to meet the other
parents, but a big drawback was that it was IMO chaotic having all
those extra people in such a small space for three hours. Kids loved it
though.

Ericka Kammerer...

We do assorted activities during the year when parents
are invited for part of the day (as you say--waaaaayyyyy too
chaotic for the whole day!)--singalongs, Mother's Day,
holiday parties, etc.

shinypenny...

Seems to me like you're doing a lot already!!

shinypenny...

This was what I was going to suggest. DD#2's preschool did this fairly
often (I think once per week?). But I never went, because I was
working. My nanny did though - and met a lot of other nannies.

shinypenny...

One thing I've always found invaluable is when I took the initiative to
ask the teacher which other student in the class might have a
compatible temperament to my own child, so that I might reach out and
plan a playdate. Teachers have always been happy to give suggestions.
Our preschools however never published directories, so you had to
approach the parent yourself.

Ericka Kammerer...

We have a directory, but I definitely did that
when my older kids were there. Even though I had the
contact info, I still needed to ask to find out whom
to approach. You might think I could have just asked
my child who to call, but if so, you obviously never
met my firstborn ;-) This year it wasn't an issue,
as my daughter's class is actually half full of people
from our neighborhood! So, I already know those
parents ;-)

You could also post a board outside the class that parents could use to
advertise new playgroups that are forming.

This may not work for your set-up (since you have a carline), but
DD#1's preschool dismissed the kids out into the playground area.
Parents then had the option of hanging out longer on the playground
after preschool was over. I met a lot of parents this way, and this was
often the spot where we'd make impromptu plans to hook up after lunch
and naps for a playdate. We would even sometimes pack a lunch and have
a picnic on the playground before heading home for naps.

Ericka Kammerer...

Some parents choose to do this on their own.
There are usually a few kids and parents hanging out
on the playground. This seems especially popular with
the kids who have younger siblings who are itching to
spend some time on the playground ;-) I don't think
we could go to dismissing *all* the kids to the
playground, though, because of our hideous parking
logistics. I can't *wait* until the new building
and parking lot! I won't have any kids in preschool
anymore, but I'll still be at the church, so I still
win! (And frankly, unless a miracle happens, I'll
probably still be on this darned committee, so I'll
still be concerned about the preschool situation ;-) ).
Right now, it's a small parking lot with a single
entrance/exit. There's just one "lane" with cars
parked on either side. The carline folks have to
drive down the "lane," turn around, and come back
out next to the folks coming in (around a bad
corner with little visibility). With the new
building, we'll have a circular drive with a
special lane for carline and *lots* more
parking. Yippee!

Best wishes,
Ericka