Night time blues or are we being used?

Our 5 week old for some reason gets really cranky at night. It starts
about 8 and goes on for hours. I breast feed and keep putting him on
as that's the only way he will quiet down yet I take him off and
change him to put him down and he goes bizirk.

Penny Gaines...

If he's settled, don't change him (unless you need to).

Is he using us for comfort? He won't take the passy, and won't let my
husband hold him and settle down. I'm the only one that seems to have
the cure.

Michelle J. Haines...

He's -five- -weeks- -old-! He's not plotting in his crib for how to
best manipulate you, he's still trying to figure out how not to punch
himself in the eye by accident.

Penny Gaines...

If/when you are getting really stressed out, hand the baby to dad and
you go out for a walk. Baby won't starve, and it will give dad a chance
to work out his own ways of calming him down.

Another possibility is to put the baby in his cot, and see if he
goes to sleep on his own - one of mine was like this.

Should I use formula at night?

Michelle J. Haines...

No, you should not, you should let him nurse when he needs to. many
babies get cranky at night, it's normal. And yes, nursing is not just
for nutrition for small infants, but also for comfort. That's OK,
it's designed that way. Let him nurse and sooth himself.

Michelle
Flutist

Just me :)...

This sounds very normal to me. A 5 week old is not able to
self-comfort well yet, and you are NOT spoiling him in any way by
helping him through this "rough patch"
Also, as others have said, consider that he may be in a growth spurt,
6wks is a big one but it can be anytime, really. It was a shock to me
how hard it really is with a baby not sleeping much at night, even
though I'd thought I'd "prepared" mentally. I think it's a
shock to everyone and we tend to think something is wrong.
My DS never liked a pacifier either, and now I'm glad. Think of it
this way, one less thing to wean him off of later on ;)

This will pass, I promise. It's so tough sometimes with newborn,
nights especially. A 5wk old also needs that night feed. They can't
make it through the night yet.
Were you thinking switching to formula will have an effect on sleeping?
It won't. I would NOT switch from BF'ing unless that is something
you want to do now, for other reasons.

Your son will grow quick, I know it's hard, but it is also a grand
time in both of your lives.

All the best,
Al

Any suggestions are really appreciated.

dkhedmo...

Totally normal, totally common, it won't last forever, really, it won't.
Your baby isn't broken and you're NOT bad parents. We used to call it
"the witching hour" with ds1, in our case generally 4 or 5pm to about
8pm daily for about 8-12 weeks. Just hold him and comfort him and nurse
him, even if it seems like it's not "doing" anything to help him.

Just assume that this is the way things are going to be for a while, and
set yourself up to focus on dealing with the baby's needs by
anticipating this time every evening. Make sure you're done with dinnner
and household chores, get yourself into comfortable clothes, snack and
beverage at hand, books, tv remote, telephone within reach, whatever you
need, and just focus on the baby.

Let dad help too, even if it seems like the baby screams worse or is not
improving, it's important to get dad in there to help with the
comforting, both for your sanity and their bonding. Take turns holding,
jiggling, rocking, whatever, but it can be an important time for both
dad and baby to have that experience of working through a tough time
together, even if it's just so you can get a break to pee or rest your
arms and back from nursing! My dh spent plenty of time dance-jigging ds1
in front of the tv, with the sound on mute and the closed captioning on,
as he couldn't actually *hear* the tv.

When the odd evening hits that he doesn't have this colicky episode, it
will come as a nice surprise - instead of feeling like the colicky hour
is bringing everything to a grinding halt on a daily basis- and when
this period eventually passes, you can feel that you both handled it
calmly and capably and you both helped your child through a very
difficult developmental period by being there for him.

It will end, really. And our ds2 never really went through this period,
so don't let it put you off having another!

-Karen, mom to Henry almost 6 and William almost 2-

Ericka Kammerer...

Sorry, this is very common (and normal) with newborns.
He may be getting a bit colicky, in which case my condolences.
Formula isn't likely to help and will just be likely sabotage
your supply or his suck so that you have problems down the road.
Worse yet, it might upset his digestive system and make things worse!
He may also be going through a growth spurt and spending lots
of time at the breast to increase your supply. If it's a
growth spurt, it will likely pass in not too long. Another
question to ask yourself is if your supply is tanking in the
evening. That sometimes happens if you've been doing too
much and are exhausted and dehydrated at the end of the day.
Either way, you might spend a day or two taking it very
easy and eating and drinking lots--do nothing but nurse the
baby. Maybe that will improve things.
Another thing that might bear consideration is
whether you're eating or drinking something that
might be upsetting him--maybe at dinnertime? For
instance, some breastfed babies can't tolerate it if
their mother drinks milk, as some of the proteins can
pass through into the breastmilk and irritate them.
You could probably web-search up some previous threads about
foods that may be more likely to cause upset and
try eliminating those for a while to see if it helps.
Might be a long shot, but could be worth a try.
If it's colic, you might be in for another month
or two of this, which is horrible to get through. You
just have to keep telling yourself that it *will* end
and you just have to survive it.
*Don't* assume that your baby is just spoiled,
or that nursing him will spoil him. He's a newborn. He
can't be spoiled. He's still adjusting to the world.

Best wishes,
Ericka