Is step-teen a mama's boy?

My stepson is 14 1/2 yrs old. He has a normal amount of friends and
participates in many activities. Our relationship is "we know the
boundries" and "this is as close as we will get". Not by my choice, but
his. He does visit with his dad every other weekend. His dad still has
problems dealing with his 4 yr old divorce. We have a restraining order
in effect, to keep him off our property. He is my youngest stepchild.
He has a sister who is 16. I have 2 bio children younger than he, that
are with us 50% of the time. My stepchildren are with us almost 100% of
the time.
My issue is his relationship with his bio mother, my wife. He, at the
age of almost 15, still wants his mom to snuggle on his bed when he
goes to sleep. She will sometimes lay there for 30 mins or so (NOT
under the covers). Other times she just goes and tucks him in. When we
are sitting watching tv he will come over and sit next to her on the
arm of the recliner, leaning on her. If she's on the couch he will go
over and lay against her, most times with his head on her lap. She will
run her fingers thru his hair or tickle his back (stops tho when I see
it). He will flat out say "mom, come and snuggle with me" or "mom,
let's go sit on the couch so we have more room". Most times when she
and I are having a conversation he will interrupt and basicly have
nothing to say, other than "mom, ahhhh". Many times he will even follow
her as she goes around the house doing different chores and stuff. I
have watched him go as far as to lurk outside the bathroom door just
waiting for her to come out! Much of this has been going on now for
almost a year! At times it appears he feels that I am his competition.
He has even walked up and sat on her lap when we have been visiting his
Grandpa and other family! He will walk up to her and wrap his arms
around her at any given time and just hang there, sometimes saying "oh
hug me mom".
We do many things with the children. We do not plan anything for just
ourselves unless the kids are away with the other parents. So it's not
like he is starving for attention.
Mom feels that she will continue to cuddle with him. That it will end
someday soon enough. So she's going to enjoy the closeness while she
can.
The step children were exposed to a very volitale relationship when
their bio Dad was still there. He would be abusive at times to their
mom. This is their first close exposure to a ver openly loving
relationship (their mom and I).

I feel that enough is enough! Closeness is great, but I think this is
way overboard.

dragonlady...

One of my kids was (is) like that -- very demonstrative, physically
affectionate through their teen years, climbing into bed with us from
time to time or asking to be tucked in (I didn't get in bed with the
kids, just because it was never something I did, but they sometimes
climbed into ours) and even now at 20 is very likely to come up to me at
church for a hug.

I don't see it as a problem.

In your case, it's undoubtedly true that he sees you as competition --
you ARE competition for his mom's time and energy, that's just the way
it is. You don't say how long you've lived with his mom, or how long
she and the kids were alone after her divorce from his dad. Those
things make a difference -- but it's been my experience that when a
parent acquires a new partner when their kids are between roughly 11 and
16 it's pretty hard on the kids, even if they like the new partner. The
fact that his last example of a "relationship" was one where his mom got
hurt may be making him feel protective.

I say let it go. If his mom doesn't have a problem with his behavior,
and if, as you say, he's a well adjusted kid with outside activites, you
need to let this go. It won't be long before he doesn't live there
anymore, and turning this into a "big deal" can only cause problems.