Toddler and stairs

We have stairs in our house, and two kids, ages almsot 6 and barely 2.
Since dd2 was a baby, we've carried her up and down the stairs - she's
been able to go up and down on her own for some time now, but to keep up
with dd1 and in the interest of time and her not wanting to be alone on
one level, dh and I have gotten in the habit of just picking her up and
carrying her, or else I'll piggyback her down the stairs for fun.

Rosalie B....

DD2 insisted on doing everything dd1 did. So maybe dd#1 could handle
this better than you because she will obviously not be able to carry
her.

If that isn't possible, I'd tell her that she's too young to do the
stairs, and put everything (as much as possible) on the lowest level
and tell her she can't go upstairs until she's older and can do it
herself

Well, now dd2 refuses to go up or down the stairs herself and throws a
huge tantrum every single time we're coming down the stairs (I guess its
mostly coming down that she doesn't like doing on her own now that I
think about it) and I ask her to come on her own. I offer to hold
hands, to support her if needed, but she is getting heavy and needs to
stop depending on me for rides every time. What is a good strategy for
managing this?

toypup...

We have the opposite problem. DD just turned 2 yo last month. I want to
carry her downstairs to hurry her up sometimes, but she won't let me. She
throws a fit, but she needs me to hold her hand, so it takes forever to get
down. Anyway, I have no advice, except it's not faster for them to walk
with help.

dragonlady...

With my twins, I taught them to go down stairs on their belly, feet
first -- they could slide pretty fast that way. Particularly with my
bad knees, carrying the two of them up and down stairs was a real
challenge, so this is something I taught them to do as soon as they were
crawling. They learned to back up to the stairs to go down feet first,
and went up in the same orientation, just crawling up the stairs.

I've taught this technique to several other kids, as well -- at first, I
sit on the steps beside them and "bump" down while they go down, but it
doesn't take long before I can just wait for them at the bottom, and
they slide down pretty fast.

toypup...

DD used to do this. She taught herself, but she's past that now and insists
on walking while holding my hand.

We had one or two minor chin bruises, but it worked well.

(I've taught the same technique for going down slides by themselves when
kids seem to want to slide, but don't really have upper body control to
go down the slide sitting up.)

Mary Ann...

Turn it into a game....obviously not a racing game!

You could try some reverse psychology, telling her that she had better
not come down the stairs otherwise you'll be very cross. This will only
work if she knows you're teasing which she may be a little young for.

When you have some time, take it in turns. First time down you carry
her, then go back up and she goes down by herself. This should increase
her confidence.

Ease her into it, by telling her that in the morning she comes down
herself and then you'll carry her the rest of the day. Praise her lots
when she comes down, telling her what a big girl she is etc etc.

Drop the whole thing for a week and then reintroduce without any
mention of previous problems.

Move to a bunglow.

Mary Ann

cara...

Ha ha, I wish! I will never buy another place with stairs, thats for
sure, at least while kids are small.

We took some time this morning and 'played' on the stairs, tried 'bump,
bump, bumping' down the stairs on bums, and that went over well, so I
think we'll keep trying that, making it a game instead of a power
struggle. Thanks for replies!

Ericka Kammerer...

Wow, I never imagined the issue you have ;-) We have
three floors, so two flights of stairs. We actually had the
opposite problem--couldn't keep the kids off the stairs. I
don't think we even bothered to gate past about 15 or 18 months.
The only thing I worry about is that we have hardwood stairs.
I keep meaning to at least put a runner on them, but I can't
seem to find one I like, so they're still bare.

Best wishes,
Ericka

This morning I sat up there with her and told her when she was ready we
would go down holding hands together but she just went ballistic - makes

Stephanie...

We have tile stairs with hard wooden edges. So those of you out there in the
same situation, this may not work for you.

dragonlady...

Though we had carpets IN the house, the kids used this technique on
wooden steps outside, and on tile steps in other people's houses. They
didn't slide as easily, but it still worked well for getting up and down
stairs.

me nervous to leave her up there throwing a fit, but sitting with her
doesn't seem to help either (she tries to leap onto me so I'll carry
her). This morning she slid half way down in her fit, then I 'helped
her' slide the rest of the way (kicking and screaming all the way).
There is a landing mid-way, so I can't see her when she's at the top. I
have a 6 year old downstairs who needs help getting ready for school, so
sitting up there forever doesn't work well either.

Welches...

Have you shown her how to "bump" down? Sit on the stairs and let yourself
bump down each step in turn. She can do it on your lap at first, and then
move to going on her own.
#2 loves to crawl down forwards which I don't recommend, particularly as she
does it at speed as though it's a slide, only touching the steps with her
hand to propel herself quicker down. But maybe you could introduce crawling
down backwards as she may feel safer then.
Debbie

cara
(ready to move to a single story!)

Rosalie B....

grandma Rosalie