Pick one or the other TV detective to hire

Jim Rockford or Magnum?

Double T the Legally Blind Referee...

Barnaby Jones?

Double T the Legally Blind Referee...

Dan Tanna?

Butters...

Jim Rockford ruled the school, but I'm going with Magnum since he basically
was a pain in Higgins ass AND he got free rent to boot. Ultimate moocher.

Cannon or Barnaby Jones?

Butters...

? Never watched either.

Spenser or Dan Tanna?

Butters...

Spenser, mainly because of Hawk.

Simon or Simon?

Butters...

Me and my friend Seth used to play Simon and Simon during recess. I'll go
with Rick, since that's who I always was.

The Equalizer or Mike Hammer?

Butters...

Equalizer.

The Fall Guy or Matt Houston?

Double T the Legally Blind Referee...

Hardcastle and McCormick?

Double T the Legally Blind Referee...

or Father Dowling?

Butters...

The Fall Guy over ALL of these other guys. Ultimate TV detective. Drove a
kickass truck instead of a girly car. Had Heather Thomas in a bikini in
almost every episode.

Jake and the Fatman or Hardcastle and McCormick?

Butters...

H&M

Jessica Fletcher or Father Dowling?

Larry Smith...

Can't I have Columbo or Frank Pembleton?

Butters...

Both suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.