Big Love: My Concern

Okay, I think the show is well done. I just have one problem and no one is
speaking about the elephant in the room.

How can you be okay with sharing your husband. The thought of my man going
to the next woman the next day really sickens me.

I'm sure it is great for men. I'm sure most men would like this concept.

weberm...

In the long run, polygamy is bad. Rather than waste my time re-locating
the (off-topic) research, just look at the state of traditional Mormon and
Moslem culture.

Ken from Chicago...

Gathering multiple adults in the same home to live . . . there's problem
numero uno right there. Two is hard enough and it grows exponentially from
there.

Obveeus...

Until very recently, homes with more than 2 adults was the norm. Multiple
generations commonly shared living quarters. Many homes had live-in
servants. Many 'single folks' lived in boarding houses where living areas
were shared.

The ability to live with one or more adults has only become 'hard enough'
because people can so easily change the situation now.

But as a woman I would like to find love with one man. This whole sister
wife thing is strange. I have plenty of girfriends, but I only want one
man. and I want my man to only want me. It disturbs me that these women

Steven L....

Yes, but there's an old saying: Sometimes it's better to have 50% of
something than 100% of nothing. What if you weren't already married?
If your biological clock were ticking and the choice was between
entering into a polygamous relationship or spending your entire rest of
your life single and lonely, which would you choose? In a polygamous
relationship you have your man at least part of the time. If you remain
single for the rest of your life you have a man NONE of the time.

And while you're focusing on the *existing wives* of polygamous
relationships, remember that remaining single women benefit from the
altered ratio of singles: Suppose 50% of single American women married
10% of the single men in polygamous relationships of 5 wives per
husband. Then that would leave the remaining 50% of single women to
choose partners from among 90% of the remaining single men. So polygamy
yields a better ratio of potential partners for those women who aren't
married yet--because it absorbs potential "competition" for male partners.

have to fight jealously in order to make their live work.

Steven L....

In today's modern affluent society, with modern medicine and many
careers now open to women, no wife should be 100% dependent on her
husband even in a monogamous relationship.

I'm not a femninist but I really must say. If women had multiple men they
would be outrage with the same concept.

Nellie Paris...

Sounds like you *are* a feminist -- you are simply concerned about
equitable treatment of women and men. Feminist is not a bad thing,
and it's definitely not about hating men. Plenty of guys are
feminists too.

I agree though; the whole time I am watching this excellent show, I am
thinking, "How can they do it???" Particularly with Jeanne
Tripplehorn, who radiates intelligenve.

Ken from Chicago...

Ask every mistress throughout history.

Ask wives who KNOW their famous / rich / powerful men are "stepping out".

Ask groupies.

Ask a certain former presidential intern.

Steven L....

In that connection, there's a company called the Secret Lover
Collection, that sells greeting cards for a married spouse to get from
his "secret lover" with whom he's having an affair. Cards have messages
like:

"I can't imagine my life without you--even though I have to share you."

"As we celebrate the holidays, each with our respective families, let us
remember each other."

"Spending time together is the most important thing to me, since I know
that before long we will have to go back to our other lives without each
other."

"I want to make you happy…be your lover…be your confidant and your
closest friend. And even though I want you all to myself, I understand
that you are not mine completely and I have to share you."

Some of these could work for polygamous relationships too.

Ask any woman who's said / thought "I'd rather have some of him than none."

lionelhutz6...

When they have interviewed many of the women in these relationships,
they ahve been happy. They share responsibility for taking care of the
children. Those that pursue careers are able to more easily, etc.

Consensual polygamy should be allowed. It can go both ways, if the
parties want that as well.