ask abby

In honor of Jenna - who will regain the title of "RMB Advice Giver" when
she returns - I introduce "ask abby".

You may ask me ANYTHING as long as it's not Beatle realated. Those questions

gonzoboy...

[...]

gonzoboy...

[...]

are better left to other threads that the experts frequent. If I don't know
the answer, I will try to find it for you.

Let the questions begin....

Runnnerr...

Dear Abby,

What is 6 inches long, has a big head and women love it?

abby again...

My dearest Runnnerr,

I know exactly of what you speak. In fact, someone forgot to give it to me
yesterday, so I had to go out at lunch and get it. I really needed it for
various reasons.

Runnnerr...

Hmmmm, I'm not sure to what you're referring, but the answer to my
question is.... (envelope please)......

Me <----- Holding up a $10 (or $20 or $50) bill

gonzoboy...

-GonzoBoy.com

"Really don't mind...
if you sit this one out.
My words but a whisper,
your deafness a SHOUT!
I may make you feel...
but I can't make you think
Your sperm's in the gutter,
your love's in the sink"
-- Jethro Tull
[album: "Thick as a Brick"]

gonzoboy...

What time was it when they invented the first watch?

Chris Hoelscher...

IT WAS TIME ,,, FOR TIME ....

-GonzoBoy.com

"As I walk through... This wicked world...
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity...
I ask myself... Is all hope lost?...
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?...
And... each-time-I-feel-like-this-inside..
There's one thing I wanna *know*...
What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding?
oooOooohhh...
What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding?"
-- Elvis Costello

Lizz Holmans...

Dear Mr.Boy,

I think you misspelled 'Nick Lowe'. HTH.

Lizz 'setting the record straight' Holmans

[song: "What's so Funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding?"]

Seth Jackson...

Dear Abby,

abby again...

Never even ponder the horoscope; it's evil disguised as guidance.

Romance topics should always be left to discuss with trained professionals
such as the aforementioned Springer or Maury Povich.

Life..... ah, well, it's what happens while you're busy making other
plans...... but we can freely discuss that here, in our forum, the people's
rmb....

Runnnerr...

abby again...

Dear Runnnerr,

The interview was named, "The Alarmingly Normal McCartneys" and was
published in Ladies Home Journal. Is there a reason you were reading LHJ in
1984?

BTW, the only hurricane that affected me directly was named Hugo.

Runnnerr...

Dear Abby,

LOL, must have been one of those boy hurricanes who wanted to a girl

Sincerely,
Runner

Dear Abby,

I don't get it.....

abby again...

Now I'm questioning my own sanity!

Runnnerr...

"Ahhh go on. You canna fool me. There ain't no sanity clause!!"- Chico
Marx, A Night At The Opera, 1935

Yourimageunreals...

We're all insane here.

We have a housekeeper who happens to be Mexican. She has a young

abby again...

That's what I was talking about! The grocery store clerk forgot to give me
my cash back yesterday, so I had to run out at lunch to get it from the
customer service manager. Luckily, her register total from yesterday was
over the exact amount owed to me.

baby. We believe we were invited to the baby's baptism (although the
invitation is in Spanish, so we can't be 100% sure). We have a
previous commitment on that day, so we can't make it.

Neither my wife nor I have ever attended a baptism before, much less a
Mexican one. We are wondering what sort of acknowledgement and gift we
should send for this occasion. Please advise.

abby again...

Runnnerr...

Dear Abby,

I bought Ladies Home Journal in 1984 because it came out around the
time that "Give My Regards To Broadstreet" did and it had Paul and
Linda on the cover.

I remember thinking that I'd never seen a picture of Paul up to that
point with so many wrinkles around his eyes. I still have that magazine
in my Beatles archvies should there be any old, 1984 recipes you'd like
me to look up for you. :-)

abby again...

I have the interview pages and the cover. I was 10 years old and thought
Paul was so cute even with his wrinkles and grey-streaked hair. I believe
that mag had one of the only pics I've seen of him sans dyed hair.

I'm sure my mother still has all those yucky, old lady recipies. There's
only so many ways to fix a strawberry cake.

Runnnerr...

Yeah, you're right. I generally save any magazine or other publication
with a favorite musician on the cover. Paul's hair was really short in
that cover pic too, shorter even than it is today (I think).

Sincerely Ru(nnn)err

Since I've never been to a Christening, I had to look it up. (I don't
believe in baptising babies.)
You may not be invited at all; you could've received an announcement. Put
the text into an online translator and see what it says. If you are invited,
tell her that you already had plans but will say a prayer for them.
The gift can be small - such as a prayer book or rosary - or can be
something like a gift certificate for a photgrapher to take the child's
portrait in her christening gown.

Seth Jackson...

Whelp, it looks like we really were invited. The good news is that we
were able to contact our former nanny, who was the one who referred
the housekeeper to us. The former nanny is also invited. Turns out
that the best gift we could send is......money.
Who'da thunk it?

abby again...

Hey, that's easy!

Chris Hoelscher...

the best things in life are free, but you can keep them for the birds and
bees ..

Seth Jackson...

But I don't care too much much for money...

TAR...

I don't know about Mexican traditions, but I've always known gifts to be
either savings bonds or money to put away for the child's future. The
gifts you mentioned are also nice.