big changes for the kitties and me

DH and I have separated, DH moved out today. The kitties and myself will

Victor Martinez...

I'm sorry to hear that, separations can be very difficult.

Christine K....

It was difficult for me at the beginning, the first week after DH told
me he didn't think it was working between us and he'd be moving out as
soon as he finds a place to live I bawled a lot. Didn't think about the
possibility of a move for me too, until my mom mentioned it. Then, after

Adrian A...

Perhaps when you get a car it would be a good idea to get one with automatic
transmission, one less thing to think about when you're driving.

EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)...

I didn't realize they still made them without! ;-)

Monique Y. Mudama...

A lot of models don't have manual as an option. Very annoying. On
the bright side, it helps me narrow down my list very quickly!

Er, I should say, a lot of models don't have manual as an option in
the US. A lot of models sell with manual transmission in Burope, but
they don't bother to get them certified here. *sigh*

Jane...

Yup, and I'm apparently the only one who still drives them. I've
always had stick shift cars, except for one little beater that I owned
for only a few months. It's still possible to buy them
brand-new-off-the-lot, but the salesmen look at you funny.
Back when I picked out my Mazda, I could have gotten a used, very high
end Volvo for a song, simply because it was the only stick shift on the
lot. Apparently special ordered in its day. Unfortunately, at that time
I had a 50 mile commute, and Volvos aren't known for their good gas

Monique Y. Mudama...

This really depends. I bought a new car in 2004, DH just a couple of
months ago, and they were both stick. Neither are what you would call
basic commuter cars. I think that's the key. If you're looking for a
basic commuter car for congested areas, well, a stick shift is just a
pain (1st to 2nd ... slow down ... argue with the car about whether it
can shift into 1st while still moving ... ad nauseum). Probably not
enough people want them to justify producing them.

If you're buying a car that advertises itself as fun, sporty, etc,
well, people who buy cars for those reasons are more inclined to want
a stick.

(While my car was in the shop this winter, I had a loaner Outback
wagon with the deal where you can choose either shifting or automatic.
The shifting variety sucked. There's no clutch, so I felt like I had
the worst of both worlds -- still had to shift, but had no ability to
modulate, so I didn't feel like I had any extra measure of control.)

mileage.

Cheryl Perkins...

When I bought my first car, I'd done my research. I knew I wanted a
standard shift (stick shift) four door hatchback etc etc etc. and told
that to the saleman, who offered me a two-door sporty model with
everything automatic, including the transmission. 'Just the thing for a
lady' who, presumably, can't handle a basic standard car.

I bought my car from another dealer.

Jo Firey...

Christine K....

I realize New Yorkers wouldn't actually need a car, with their good
public transportation. And considering that the number of inhabitants in
the Metropolitan area (about 22 million according to Wikipedia) is about
four times that of all of Finland (about 5,3 million) kinda makes your
mind boggle...

Trust me you can use their prejudices against them. They expect women to be
irrational when buying a car. So be irrational till you get the deal you

Monique Y. Mudama...

Good for you.

want.

Last time I bought Charlie a car, I told the salesman up front I didn't much
care if I got the Toyota or the Nissan he was selling. But that I did
prefer the wheelcovers on the Nissan and thought since the did have two
identical cars in inventory they might be willing to make a deal. Three
hours later I had a very good deal.

I sent my daughter outside to get her father (bargaining embarrasses him)
and when he came inside I threw him the keys. The salesman was shocked.
Said he had never seen that, and that virtually always the new car went to
the wife. I was perfectly happy with my car thank you.

The last time I drove for some relatives, we rented a car, and you
couldn't get a rental car with a standard shift in the city.

Jane
- owned and operated by Princess Rita

Adrian A...

Very common in Burope. ;-)

Christine K....

That would be nice, yes, but they aren't that common around here. Most
cars have "stick shift".

accepting the fact that DH was leaving, as well as seeing the brighter
side with the new job and fresh start, things were getting a lot better
for me.

be moving to western Finland, where I'll be working at the company my

polonca12000...

But I know the job will be interesting, much more interesting that

dad started, but my brother heads nowadays. Their customers are in the
UK, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland and Finland so they need someone,
besides my brother nowadays, who speaks four languages. Also they need
someone adequatly computer literate. And they haven't been able to find
such a person locally. They've tried to talk me into moving there
before, but DH was never that keen on the idea. Now that DH is "out of
the picture", when my mom mentioned our break-up to my bro on Friday a
week ago, he replied "OK, can she start on Monday?".

Adrian A...

Victor Martinez...

So, she's a very practical woman, like my mom! :)

As DH has been packing his stuff for a week or two and now that he moved
out today, both Laku and Nico have been a little baffled about the whole
business. Like asking what the meaning was with all those boxes and bags
and such, and why stuff was moved from their familiar positions. And
today, as they were shut into the bedroom while DH, his dad and his
oldest brother moved all the stuff away, they emerged all wide eyed,
looking for DH, sniffing around at the now empty spaces. Probably also
wondering if they will have to get used to just one servant from now on,
as opposed to having had two before.

We are still looking for an apartment out there, I have a couple of
applications for rental apartments submitted. My parents and brother are
all helping to find a place for me. It's easier for them as they're
already there. They know the area, what adresses to avoid and what's OK.
I'm looking for something with 1-2 bedrooms, living room and kitchen. If
I get one with two bedrooms, the second one would be my computer +
sewing room.

And I'll have to get myself a CAR! And re-learn to drive one too, of
course, as I haven't been driving for some 15-20 years. I'll probably
get a few driving lessons from a local driving school to help me along.

There have been many nights with little sleep for me. Thoughts about
finding an apartment in time before the lease is up for this one have
rolled around in my head, as well as the learning to drive part of it
all. It may be hard for an American to think that there is someone for
whom driving a car is not second nature, but I'm such a person. Living

Victor Martinez...

It is somewhat rare in this country... :)

in the greater Helsinki area, I haven't needed my own car so far. So

Victor Martinez...

I would love to not have to own a car and take mass transit everywhere.

there are quite a few humonguous flutterbies in my stomach about all
this. But I know the job will be interesting, much more interesting that
what I'm doing now. I'll get to use all my languages frequently and
actively. As it's a small company the tasks are varied. And I know I'd
regret it if I didn't do this.

Victor Martinez...

We're sending lots of purrs that this change turns out to be a good
thing for you and the critters. And DH too.

Christine K....

Thank you very much for your support.

Sorry for this long ramble, I just had to get some of it out.

Cheryl...

I seem to have missed this. Good luck Christine. Yup, big changes,
but you can do it. I was sorry to read about Laku and Nico because
they just can't understand, not that we can much either, but we have
at least a little bit of an advantage. As for driving, I know many
people who've grown so accustomed to someone else driving them that
they've had to "re-learn" too! Best wishes on your new life, and I
hope, and the kitties send purrs, that whatever you need from this
change will happen for you.

Christine K....

Thank you, Cheryl.

Julie Cook...

Purrs and gentle headbutts for you as well as the kitties. It sounds
like a lot of life changing decisions but having family nearby will
hopefully help with the transition (not to mention the cats). We'll
send purrs that everything goes easily and that the cats make the
transition without too much fuss.

Purrs, headbutts and hugs,
Julie, Hobbes, Lacey, Sam and Barnaubs

mlbriggs...

Old saying: "He travels fastest who travels alone". Purrs that your
Journey will be a happy and profitable one. est wishes. MLB

Christine K....

Thank you. And I'm not really traveling alone, the fuzzbutts will be
with me. The Journey actually does feel a lot happier now, than when I
was just concentrating on the feeling of being dumped - self pity...

Adrian A...

I'm sorry to hear about the breakup, it can't have been easy. Good luck
purrs on the way for finding a new home for you and your owners. It wouldn't
surprise me if you've learnt to drive in the past it will soon come back to
you and it won't seem as bad as you think. It sounds like it will be
rewarding working for a family company, I hope it is.

Christine K....

Thank you. I just have to keep repeating to myself that things do have a
habit of working out. There have been quite a few coincidenses leading
up to this point anyway for things not to work out.
But I never have been a very good driver, didn't drive that regularly
back then either. Then again, my mom got her drivers' licence around my
age, and even tho she doesn't drive that much nowadays, she was OK when
she did drive regularly.

mlbriggs...

I decided to learn to drive when I was 46 years old. I took lessons from
an off duty police officer. I t was winter and my lessons were in the
dark hours of early morning, or after work at night. I drove in rain,
snow and fog during this time. What I am saying is, if I could do, anyone
can do it. Best wishes. MLB

Winnie...

Christine K....

Thank you Winnie.

I also took driving lessons at night while I was in college. My
instructor kept telling us it is good for us to learn to drive in the
dark and rain. But I never got my driver's license.
Never own a car and has been taking public transit all the time while I
live in N. Amercia
all these years. Sometimes I wish I drive, like when I want to take
Rusty to board at this
very nice place way out in the countryside. But I am a nervous wreck
behind the wheels.
I save a lot not owning a car. Even rented out my parking space.

Marina...

Nothing to apologize for! I'm so sorry you two split up! And I'm sorry
you're moving away - we never got around to meeting each others' kitties
(as you see, I have my priorities straight). I'm glad that you get
custody of the kitties, though. It must be weird for them, and you can't
even try to explain, like you could with kids. I hope the move and
everything new that they encounter in your new life takes their mind off
the loss of one slave.

Wow, you're facing a lot of changes. We're sending lots of purrs for a
great new life! (Care to specify where in western Finland?)

Christine K....

Specification of locations: The company is located in Laitila and I'll
probably be living in Rauma. Quite a few of the other employees live in
Rauma and I'll probably be able to hitch a ride with someone until I
have my "driving legs" ;) (modification of sea legs - getting used to
being at sea). The drive between those two cities takes about the same
time (or just a bit longer) than what it takes me nowadays to get to
work by bus or bus+train.

Rauma is an old city by the seaside, founded in 1442. Here's a link to
their website in English:

Laitila is big in area but has just a few thousand inhabitants. Their
website is not available in Englis, but then again, there isn't that
much to tell about Laitila... ;)

Monique Y. Mudama...

Don't apologize! That's a lot to have on your mind and heart.

Good luck with your new job. It sounds like you'll be able to move
closer to your family, which may be just right for you right now.
Driving -- hey, you'll get the hang of it. It's not rocket science.

polonca12000...

We are sending lots of good luck purrs and best wishes for you and the
kitties, Christine,
Polonca and Soncek

(Okay, there are people out in the world who shouldn't be driving, but
mostly that's because they never considered that they might not be
very good or need to pay attention more -- as long as you approach
driving as an opportunity to constantly learn and get better, you'll
be better than most drivers before too long.)

Purrs for you and the kitties.

big changes for the kitties and me - LONG