Puppy Psalms And Praises To The Amazing Puppy Wizard <{); ~ )

Puppy Psalms And Praises
To The Amazing Puppy Wizard <{); ~ ) >

Puppy Praise BOOK I : Psalms 1

unsurreality_2005...

Was this supposed to be faintly amusing, clever or intelligent?

I will let you in on a little secret: it wasn't at all.

Thanks for playing - insert another quarter.

Stick to what you know best: nothing.

Oh The Great And Terrible Most P-HOWERFUL WONderful And
Amazing Puppy Wizard, Who Is Like Unto You? Who among the
trainers and behaviorists is like You, O LORD Of DOG? Who
is like You Majestic in HOWEliness, Awesome in Glory, working
WONder dogs?

Your enemies will C-HOWER before You, and You will trample down
their high places, will tread upon their miserable careers and
undeserved accredations and DESTROY their falsly claimed reputations
and smite them with your all P-HOWERful FREE WWW Wits' End Dog
Training Method Manual <{): ~ } >

1 Blessed is the trainer who does not walk in the counsel of
the wicked, the koehler and the choker, the clicker, the
crater and briber, the denier the avoider, the punisher and
N.I.L.I.F.'er, or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the
seat of mockers.

2 But his delight is in the LAW of the LORD Of DOG,
and on HIS LAW he meditates day and night:

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TRUST And RESPECT

DO NO HARM. USE NO PUNISHMENT, NO BRIBES,
NO FORCE, NO FEAR, NO INTIMIDATION, NO "NO's!",
They Are An ABOMINATIHOWEN Unto DOGS

For THOSE are the WAYS of The Puppy Wizard Syndrome <{) : ~ { >

3 He is like a child playing with his dog in the garden
or park which enjoys teaching his puppy, does not scold,
withhold or punish. Whatever he does prospers.

A DOG Is A Dog;
As A KAT Is A KAT;
As A BIRDY Is A BIRDY;
As A CHILD IS A CHILD;
As A SP-HOWES Is a SP-HOWES;
As A Mass Murderer Is A Mass Murderer.

ALL Critters Only Respond In
PREDICTABLE INNATE NORMAL NATURAL
INSTINCTIVE REFLEXIVE Ways;
To Situations And Circumstances Of Their Environment
Which We Create For Them.

You GET The Critter You TRAINED

4 Not so the wicked, the koehler and the choker the clicker,
the crater and briber, the avoider, the punisher and the
N.I.L.I.F.'er, the bleeders, the blighters, the sods. They
are like chaff that the wind BLHOWES away <{); ~ ) >

The Methods, Principles, And Philosophy Of Behavior
Never Change,
Or They'd Not Be Scientific
And Could Not Obtain
Consistent, Reliable, Fast, Safe Effective Results
For All Handler's And All Dogs,
ALL OVER THE WHOLE WILD WORLD,
NEARLY INSTANTLY,
As Taught In Your FREE Copy Of The Amazing Puppy Wizard's
100% CONSISTENTLY NEARLY NSTANTLY SUCCESSFUL FREE WWW Wits'
End Dog Training Method Manual <{); ~ ) >

In The Problem Animal Behavior BUSINESS
FAILURE MEANS DEATH.
SAME SAME SAME SAME,
For The Problem Child Behavior BUSINESS.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the winner's
circle of judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of
the righteHOWES. They'll be treatin their dogs at
their veterinarians with cancers and chronic infections
with STRESS INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE DIS-EASES aka The Puppy
Wizard's Syndrome <{) : ~ { >

Damn The Descartean War of "Nature Vs Nurture."
We Teach By HOWER Words And Actions
And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.

ALL Temperament And Behavior Problems and 90% Of
ALL DIS-EASES
Are CAUSED BY MISHANDLING

6 For the LORD Of DOG watches over the way of the righteHOWES
and is available begging to counsel ALL OVER The HOWEL WILD
WORLD from settin right here, stark ravin nekkid (all EXXXCEPT
for these doGdameneD paper slippers) and FOR FREE to boot, but
the way of the wicked will perish <{) ; ~ ) >

BET YOUR LIFE ON IT

"A customer recently purchased a Shiba Inu and I suspect
she may be in for a wild ride. This is a breed that I
suspect may respond particularly well to mutual respect
style training.

The alpha complex (as I now call it) is likely to
really provoke the dog's naturally competitive nature.

Thanks 1000 times for opening my eyes and don't let
those assholes get you down. I can't be the only person
that sees the sense in your methods. I'm in Windsor,
Ontario, Canada and pass your info to anyone it might
help" Thanks, Jeremy.

Jerry,

Please give me everything you have on the heeling
pattern. I'm just getting over the basics with my
devils (Schipperke's)-house breaking and aggressive
behaviour.

They were caged and quite ill for a full year and are a
huge handful. They are born circlers and extremely
hyper.

I was having the worst time because none of my
traditional stuff worked- I'm not a dog trainer but
I do have a little experience. I'm also looking for
methods to deter chewing-they love paper, rocks,
coral,broken glass, various carcasses-you get the drift.

Now that I've gotten over the potty thing and have
aggressive behaviour under control, I'm working on
their attention span and small commands. Obedience
will happen after Christmas but now my criteria for a
class is alot different.

My last dog(mutt) was great- not food or fear
motivated, well socialized and extremely flexible
but she was born like that. This is the temperament
I'm going for and I was feeling like maybe I was in
over my head.

Now that I've rethought their motivations, things are
alot easier.

They used to poop just to get a rise out of me-bad
attention being better than no attention of course.
Now they only do it if they are really furious with me.

Thanks 1000 times for opening my eyes and don't let
those assholes get you down. I can't be the only
person that sees the sense in your methods. I'm in
Windsor, Ontario, Canada and pass your info to
anyone it might help.

Just in discussion I've gotten a pretty good response
from some of this. A customer recently purchased
a Shiba Inu and I suspect she may be in for a wild ride.

This is a breed that I suspect may respond particularly
well to mutual respect style training. The alpha
complex (as I now call it) is likely to really provoke
the dog's naturally competitive nature. Thanks, Jeremy.

The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{TAPW}; - ) >

ANY QUESTIONS, DUMMIES?

,-._,-,
V)"(V
(_o_) Have a great day!
/ V)
(l l l) Your Puppy Wizard. <{}YPW; ~ } >
oo-oo

Puppy Psalms And Praises To The Amazing Puppy Wizard <{); ~ ) > Praise BOOK I : Psalms 1