Joke - received in the mail

9 Months Later...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up
Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they
got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm
and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could
spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house
all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid
the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if
the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed,
and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the
night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their
way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally
determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he
had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and
asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we
stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob.

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to
the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out.
"I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, she just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... now
keep that smile for the rest of the day.)

Imno1...

which somehow reminds me-where is Arthur Wouk?

Gary James...

I saw something he posted not long ago.

BTW, Rumple, are you over your operation yet ? I mean are you back
to normal ? If you'll pardon the expression. If so, do you think

Sordo...

Great one Gary..........8^)

it was worth all the pain and suffering ?

Rumpelstiltskin...

No, I'm not at all back to normal, though I look normal when
I'm just walking or sitting, and not getting up off a chair or out
of bed. I can get up off the ground without difficulty - it's
easier than getting up out of a chair - so I can enjoy parks
again.

I can sleep without something under my left knee now
unless the cat is lying on my knee, as he frequently is.

It was definitely worth it. I'm no longer restricting my
getting outdoors on the basis of how bad my knees are
at the particular stage I'm in between cortisone shots.

I can't kneel though, and I wonder if I ever will,
because that puts pressure directly on the artificial
joint in a manner the joint is not optimized to
accommodate. I had to use a grabber to get at some
chains that had fallen through the crack between my
computer table and the wall this morning, because
otherwise I'd have to kneel on the hard floor to get
at the chains. I couldn't just drag them out from
under the table with my foot without also dragging
and possibly disconnecting the wire from my radio
receiver to the window at the other end of the next
room along with the chains. The string of small
chains held together with S-hooks had fallen down
when I tried to replace the battery in my wall clock
and brought the whole apparatus down in the
process. Putting it back up was a bit of a job. A
string of chains held together only with S-hooks is
not at all a stable thing, and my ceilings are about 9
feet high, with the picture rail only about a foot from
the ceiling. I had to stand on a chair and lean over
the computer table to get it in place. I started to
stand on the table, which can handle the weight
easily, but the table is cluttered and there's nothing
to hold onto other than the wall, so that seemed a
riskier proposition than leaning over from the chair
and hoping the chair didn't slide out from
underneath me. I couldn't find the final S-hook so
I used a paper clip instead. That's more secure,
so when this happens again, I'll replace all the
S-hooks with paper clips. It's a good thing I'm not
married, or my wife would insist that I hire Tiffany's
to come in to consult on the design and installation
of hangers, rather than use chains jury-rigged
together with S-hooks and paper clips.

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom: it is the
argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves" -- Wm. Pitt the Younger

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom: it is the
argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves" -- Wm. Pitt the Younger