Giant STALK Prize Offered !!!!

Group;

Senior are smart and most possess high level of ingenuity which is the
reason I post this.

I will soon have the long (14 ft.), fibrous, slightly tapered(4 inches at
the bottom), stalk of a Giant Maryland Sunflower plant which must go the way
of all "annual" plants. The seeds of this giant will, of course, be
harvested and will make great winter snacks. But ------ being of Scottish
heritage I hate to see the magnificent stalk go to waste. It's way too big
for a billiards cue, not solid enough for a softball bat, not long enough
for a flag pole, and therein lies the dilemma. Out in N.Dakota where they
grow sunflowers commercially, they sometimes use the stalk to grind up for
cattle/pig food; but I have no cattle/pigs here just outside the Beltway.

I discussed this matter seriously on the internet with NSA (the National
Sunflower Grower's Association in Bismark, ND) and they could come up with
nothing intriguing or interesting. Although, after much cyberhighway
exchange, one of their Sunflower Reps. did come up with an idea of where I
could put this thing; her response was so crude and churlish and
irresponsible that I, even I, would be ashamed to describe it here on the
net !!

So, I will solve this dilemma in my usual
way -----------------------------------------------------
As of this moment I am conducting a contest, with a VERY hefty prize/reward
for the winner, in sending me ideas for the use of this valuable STALK !!!
The nature of the prize will be announced on the same day as my BIRTHDAY !!
Don't miss out on this, Amigos !! WIN this PRIZE !! Try to come up with
something unique, don't hold back, you'll be glad you did, and you'll have
something your heirs can remember you by down through the ages !!!

McD.DaddyTh'McDave of LaurelTown
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jimstevens...

Some critter would love it. cut a piece that would fit from ceiling
to floor of a bird cage and then suspend it from center. Birds will
use it to climb up and down and chew on it until it is finished. I
got a piece of rope that did similiar thing for mine and they have
gnawed it to bits and I have replaced it twice over past 8 years.

You got a cat?? Suspend it someplace the cat can get to it. It
will be a day of fun and you will get lots of spirited feedback from
the hausfrau too. Thus a two-fer reward with one action. I like
things like that.

I don't want the stalk sent to me even though I am close to you. No
cat and birds are happy with rope they have.

High Miles...

No - that's me you were thinking of - he's not old enough.
Anyway
I also grow giant sun flowers and treat the woody stalks pretty harshly.
After they've given their all for people and cardinals, I run them thru the
chipper and add to the compost heap.

Nixon, D....

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Your reply is greatly appreciated and informative. Your entry will be
quite seriously considered by the Awards Committee.

McDAve
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Even compost needs fiber.

Sir Frederick...

"Composting" is a politically correct way of referring to feeding
the little bugs.

Sir Frederick...

He was my grandson, he was improper, no charges necessary.

Nixon, D....

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OK. That bears out what others have told me.........
McDave
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Old_Timer...

Let it thoroughly dry out and then keep it at the ready for the first
chilly evening of the Fall season. AT the appropriate time place it
in your fireplace, ignite it with a fireplace lighter and let it end
its career of service to you in a last blaze of glory.
It would be fitting if at that time you would mumble some embellishing
words remembering the fine upright life of service that it led.
You'll know what to do with the ashes.