Alzheimers Disease

My Sister in Law and Brother in Law live in Norwich and he has Alzheimers,
they are both in their 80's and she is finding it very difficult to look
after him and she does not sound to be getting very much help, she is at her
wits end , she cannot sleep and he is getting quite aggressive Social
Services say there is nowhere that can take him. The only help she gets is
once a day a helper comes to wash him. Does anyone here know of anywhere she
can get help, please. Her Doctor does not sound very helpful either.

Rabbit...

I can't add anything to the advice already given but I am shocked that your
SIL has been offered so little help. A neighbour was in the same position
and she was given a lot of help from various social services and it was her
GP who set the ball in motion. My thoughts are with your SIL, caring for
somebody on *the long goodbye* is a hard task.

Jackie...

Thank you for your post Sandra, I only know from phone calls to my SinLaw
how things are but she did not seem to be getting any help but the Dr. came
today with a Lady from a Home to give Pat a rest, so perhaps things are
beginning to happen at last.

Rabbit...

I really do hope things are going to happen, I know from my former neighbour
( to whom I was a surrogate daughter) how hard it can be caring for somebody
whom you still love but who isn't the person you knew. The odd thing was in
that case I was up to the very end the only person he actually always knew,
well me and my dog who had to visit him every day :-) I don't know if the
dog had some sixth sense but the dog *had* to be taken to see him every day,
it's something I'll probably never understand. It's a hard slog and I really
do feel for your SIL and hope she gets the help she needs even if that means
residential care for your BIL. Yes it's a hard thing to think about but
sometimes it can be the only way. Alzheimer's is a horrible illness for the
loved ones around the sufferer.

Jackie...

Thank you Sandra , I am sure some animals do have a `special` sense.
Perhaps after this visit to the Home they can really assess how bad he is
and either give her more help
or give him residential care.

BunnyHare...

She could try ringing the local Age Concern for advice, they were very
helpful when Mum was first ill. You could also ring Social Services

Jackie...

Thank you Barb I will try getting in touch with her local branches. I feel
so useless with her being in Norwich and she is such a lovely Lady and does
not have the health or strength to deal with it.

shaz...

Do they have a named Social worker Jackie? It is sometimes easier if you can
speak to someone who has had contact with them and knows them. I know Mum
has one particular one, that we can contact if we need to.

Old Grizzly...

Hiya Jackie,

John D....

They are obliged to do what they can to help ex-servicemen. John D.

Jackie...

Thank you John, never thought of that, he was in the navy during the war.

Ali...

You might also contact the Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families

Jackie...

Keeping a note of all these, thank you Ali.

jenny at w*rk...

I don't know how to help Jackie, apart from badgering Social Services. But I

Jackie...

I don't think she has a Social Worker Shaz but I had a phone call from Pat
this evening and it looks like things are happening at last.
See my post to Len and Sandra.

jackie...

I will try and find out Shaz but my SinL seems very vague, I think there is
a man Social Worker but he is off for 2 weeks and he has said they cannot
find anywhere for my B in L at the moment but will look into when he comes
back! it seems Albert has been away in a Nursing Home for 10 days but they
do not really take Alzheimers cases and he came home this Monday and my SinL
says he is much worse since then.She feels she can't cope and is very frail
herself. We cannot have them where we live as we only have a one bedroom
flat and she herself is in rented accommodation.

noreen...

There is no way you could have them any way Jackie, the trouble is each time
they leave there home environment it seems to make them worse. They get very
disorientated, the only way is she gets Age concern that has been suggested
.
It is very hard but she just needs some one to talk to, and you are doing a
good job jackie being able to talk to her ;-)))

Jackie...

Thank you Noreen she does say she feels much better by talking to me, I only
wish we lived nearer!

do feel for your SIL it is a thankless and very exhausting task caring for a
loved one with Alzheimers. Words are being said for her and him of course

Jackie...

Thank you Jen, it seems things are beginning to happen so my post to Len and
Sandra.

My sister has that awfull disease and i am fraid it wont be easy.
Mum and my sister live(d) in Cornwall and mum was trying to look after
sis who became doubly incontinent, with some aggression and i *think* it
was that plus mum was then 96 (she is now 98 ) that caused Social
Services to first of all give mum some respite and Sis went into care
for a week now and again until eventually she went in as a resident.
I am a bit like you in that there are many miles between them and me and
i have tried a lot of the suggestions i have seen in the posts answering
yours Age Concern, Social Services, Altzhiemers group and so on and
quite honestly none of them have helped directly and only SS in their
own sweet time. I find alot of the problems are thet they each run their
groups differently in different parts of the country so usually if you
find somone near to you who have solved the problem it cant be solved in
the same way else where.
Mum lives on her own now and i shall bo and see her next week and visit
my Sis, she wont know me of course and i must go and want to go but i
always feel so sad when there is absolutely nothing meaningful i can say
to her and so i will have the cup of tea they will give me then leave
again.
Good luck Jackie and to both of them too.

Jackie...

Thank you for your post Len, it is a terrible disease and how your Mother
coped at her age, it should not be.
My SinL phoned me this evening and told me that they have taken Albert into
a home for two weeks care
so at least she will have a break.She had asked her Doctor to visit today to
see Albert and she brought somebody from the Nursing Home with her and when
they arrived Albert was shrieking and shouting as he had fallen on the floor
in the bathroom
and it was very difficult for the Lady Doctor and the Lady from the Home to
get him up so they rang for an amnulance.
He was then taken to the Home. My SinLaw has often had to get him up off the
floor and she is a very frail person so how they expect her to manage I
don't know. She hopes they will take him into a home for good now as she

Old Grizzly...

I know a man and wife where the man has MS. They have a hoist in the
bedroom and another in the bathroom. One night she was giving her
husband a bath but somehow he slipped in the sling and she couldnt move
him with safety so she called the Amulance and they came and helped but
then said she wasnt to do it again as thats not what the srevice was
for! they said she should have called the police !!

Jackie...

When the ambulance called because they could not lift him the ambulance
driver had to ring and ask for permission to take him to the Home as it was
out of his area, it seemed whoever was at the other end was reluctant for
him to take him but the driver said it is really my break time as I will
take him in my time. That was good of him and my SinL told him how she
appreciated it and he said `it might be me one day` and gave her a kiss!

just cannot cope.

Tickettyboo...

Sorry to hear that Jackie, its a very difficult thing to deal with when it
happens to someone you love and it affects the carers as much or maybe
even more than the person who has it. Bunged your family on my list for
words.
There is an Alzheimer’s Society , their webpage seems to have lots of
info, maybe they have a branch near to where your relatives live and
someone could offer advice about how to get help.

Jackie...

I have found some of the addresses mentioned but being so near Easter I
thought I would wait until next week
but it seems things are happening as you will see from my posts to Len and
Sandra.
Thank you for your help Boo.

jackie...

Thank you Boo I will look into it and see if there is any help.